Only Hope
by To Be A Necessity
Summary: Clare loves Eli, but her love is tested when she meets a boy who conceals her misery. Everyone's past seems to come at Clare as she is sucked back under. Clare's life isn't as normal as many say it is; but it's a gift. ECLARE.
1. The Beginning of Endless Pain

I didn't know how short I was until I was trying to attach banisters to the top of the doors in the auditorium. The school play was about a month away; everyone was in a hurry to make sure that everything would be set for the day of the show. I frankly believed that we would be finished a week _before_ the play, but everyone thought differently.

A pair of arms snaked around my waist, tightening just enough for me to squirm in pain. I turned around to see Eli's smirk; he obviously didn't seem to think anything of it.

Relief washed over.

"I thought you could you use some help reaching; of course, I was going to help you with that."

Eli closed the space that was between us and I smiled shyly as his lips met mine. I would never give this away, no matter what. Ever since K.C. and I had dated, I always expected _this_ to be what we were going to have; instead, I got the complete opposite thing.

His hands slid down to my waist, making me jerk away. I couldn't meet Eli's eyes while I recovered from the pain that burned in my sides.

"Sorry." I murmured, trying to keep my posture straight. There was no way I was going to give in when I had been fighting so hard. I could tell that Eli was going to question me every time that I did this; I knew that I was losing the love of my life.

"Care to explain?" He asked a little too harshly, and I couldn't help but wish that I could disappear from the scene. We had been through this before, but I couldn't give him the rational answer that was the truth.

I shook my head, glancing up to see furious emeralds disconnect with mine. He stalked away as I called his name out, only to be left empty handed. I threw the banister down before running out of the auditorium through the other door, looking for peace from everyone else. The halls were already cleared out; school had been out for about an hour. Not many people roamed the halls but the janitors.

I slid down behind one of the walls, caressing my side with my hand. It had never been _this_ bad; it usually only left bruises from where the bottle would make contact with my skin. But this time it was… unexplainable.

The cuts, the wounds-all that were now a part of me. I didn't feel safe anymore knowing that anyone could reveal that purple spots that printed my waist and the small cuts on my lower stomach, reaching to my back for more coverage.

I couldn't help but wonder if Darcy had had this happen to her before-she never was fond of "Dad", if I could call him that anymore. He didn't seem like a dad anymore; not with all the beating, all the slurred tones and laughs he brought to the peaceful atmosphere of our house.

I took out my phone, calling who I knew would be there for me.

"Hello?" Adam said in a sleepy tone. I shivered once more before I could speak.

"Hey," My voice was raspy from all the tears-I cleared my throat. "Are you doing anything today?"

I heard a sigh from the other side of the phone, making me roll my eyes; of course Eli would be there. "Never mind" I quickly said before hanging up. I did _not_ need to talk about what had just happened; not again.

_Only Hope_

I dragged my almost-lifeless body down to one of the cafés that had live entertainment; I had been waiting to hear some of the singers from the area perform-it had been too long since I had heard one live performance.

I could hear from the end of the street a beautiful voice over all the commotion in the town; a beautiful, light voice that drove me half-crazy to hear. I wish I had _that_ voice; one that was almost an angel's. My pace quickened while I forgot about the wounds, the battle scars that covered me.

I entered the café hastily, my eyes locking on the person on particular that was singing; he was still in the middle of the song that I had heard, but now I could hear his voice.

"_Let's forget what happens_

_and go away for a while_

_where no one can hurt us"_

How ironic was the only thing that came to my mind as I listened to what he said, getting lost in my own thoughts as I thought of how much I longed to run away from all the pain and suffering that I had been receiving lately.

His fingers strummed the strings even harder than before, showing the true passion that he had in the song. I beat my head lightly as he finished off the chorus and went to the ending of the song, replying with a light "thank you" before hopping offstage.

The boy looked oddly familiar; he had dark brown hair but his eyes were blue, sending off a large but quiet message. My eyes followed to where he sat at one of the tables, where he hugged several people who sat there with him.

Helplessness washed over me; he had lots of love and support. That was the kind of life that I had always wished for. His lyrics meant nothing to him, only telling someone else's life-mine.

The urge to flee overwhelmed me once again and I bolted for the exit-a light hand touched my arm. I turned to see that it was the singer that led me to the café, but I couldn't help but try thinking of petty excuses for me to leave.

"Hey," he said in a cheery voice. "I wanted to thank you for coming here today. It was my first opening in a café; didn't think many people would come for me."

My eyebrows rose. "I'm sorry? I didn't have any idea that you were performing here-I just had heard you singing from down the street." I shrugged. "I don't know who you are," I said honestly.

The boy rolled his eyes, a small chuckle coming out from him. "Seriously?" He asked, and I couldn't help but question him.

"Excuse me?" I asked, a little surprised by how the boy thought that I was lying. "I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are. And I'd like to leave, if you don't mind."

He raised his hand off of my arm in defeat before smiling. "Can I at least have your name?"

Why was he wasting his time on me? I already had a boyfriend.

"Clare." I stated a little strictly. "And yours?" I blurted out, confusing myself.

His head rose slightly higher before he said, "Goliah".

"Goliah?" I asked, chuckling to myself. "Pardon me-it's just that I've never heard someone's name be that."

"Well Clare," he said, returning my tone. "I didn't think that someone like you would be named 'Clare'-it's too unoriginal."

I scoffed. "Well someone is mistaken; Clare fits me quite well _Goliah_."

Goliah rolled his eyes. "Whatever; its nice meeting you." He gave a small smile before I chuckled, leaving the scene.

_Only Hope_

I entered the house as quietly as I could, a small smile playing on my lips. Goliah was truly a comedian; I hadn't been able to have a conversation like that in a while-Eli hadn't tried to connect with me like that recently.

I could only wish that Eli would forgive me soon enough so that we could have our old relationship.

Sneaking up the stairs, I looked at my drunken father who slept on the couch, his arms thrown in back of his head. He looked so stupid nowadays; he hadn't bothered to shave recently, his hair was too long and he had gained a few pounds.

I went to my bed, falling onto my back. I closed my eyes, giving in to the perfect silence that enveloped in my room. It was so peaceful when he wasn't awake; I just hoped that he wouldn't remember about me. I had lost the lock on my door and all of my privacy. I could imagine that someday I wouldn't even have windows so that I could suffer in darkness.

I tried falling asleep, only to be failing the attempt by thinking about what would happen when he would wake up. Would he just leave bruises, or do worse like last time? I couldn't go through this for much longer-the pain was unbearable nowadays. I could now understand what animal abuse was like; having no voice to speak out the pain that you adapted to.

A tear fell down my cheek as my eyes widened; footsteps heavily walked up the stairs.

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**As always, criticism and your opinion on the story is always accepted!**


	2. Venting

I whimpered softly as to not let him hear from the door of my room. I knew what was already coming; the pain that would never be gone as well as the scars engraved in my mind. Every blow, every cut, every wound was another part of me.

I stopped believing in God; stopped believing in everyone. Who was there to come and save me from every beating that my father gave me, every night at the exact same time?

No one. I had lost all hope by now.

Maybe if I opened my mouth and told someone about what my father did, I'd be saved. But I had heard nearly all of the threats that he knew of, and nonetheless they terrified me. I kept my mouth shut.

"Where were you?" He slurred, and I could almost see him from the back of my mind; his body slouched, his feet feeling like weights every step that he took. I swallowed hard before opening my eyes.

"At school," I replied softly. "For the play."

"The play!" He chuckled to himself, repeating the words over and over like they were some lame excuse. I would fight if I could, but I didn't have enough strength to even speak up anymore. "No, Clare, you're family is more important to you than some _stupid_ play."

I fought back the urge to talk back as he walked closer to me, and I snuck a peek from under my eyelids. He had no bottle this time-that was a good thing. I had suffered punches from him but they weren't nearly as worse as glass.

I prayed to God while I had the chance before I was a victim to being beaten breathless blow after blow. I prayed that I would go to heaven safely, and that no one would mourn my disappearance.

I waited. Waited. Waited for the pain that would come. I could almost feel it any second now; what was he waiting for? The suspense became too much to handle, making me open my eyes for the shortest second.

He was still there, but he was looking around my room. He had been so occupied with beating me that he hadn't looked at the décor. I glanced at him as he stared up at the pictures I had on my wall, and I could see exactly which ones he was looking at; the only pictures I had taken with Eli. I closed my eyes shut again, not wanting to see his reaction when he saw the pictures that perfectly captured our favorite moments together.

"Who is this boy?" I could hear his anger slightly rising.

"My-" I choked on my own words. "My b...boyfriend." I wish that I had told him before the divorce that I had a boyfriend, but I didn't want to ruin our relationship. But from the turns of what had been happening, my father had ruined it without even knowing. No longer was I able to be comforted by Eli when I cried or when I was upset; no one could hold me without me feeling all the pain I tried to forget.

"You slut!" He exclaimed, and I could only hold back the tears. He hadn't gone down this road before. "Only _sluts_" he sneered the word as if it was a sin. "Have boyfriends behind their father's backs. Only _sluts_ do things like this. You're a slut like your mother."

I couldn't help but sob as he finished his statement; I knew that I wasn't a slut. Deep down I knew, but I couldn't make a comeback for what he said. I could've told my parents. I could've gotten out of this situation if I had just told them about Eli.

A hard blow came across my face, sending a burning sensation in my right cheek.

But this was only the beginning.

_Only Hope_

Eli skipped English class; I would've expected him to. I knew that I wasn't completely forgiven for not giving him a reason as to why I hadn't been into intimacy with him recently. I honestly didn't believe in love anymore.

Adam gave me a concerned look as I walked into class late; the hallways had been crowded, and every time that I had would bump into someone I would choke back a cry of pain. I waited in the bathroom until the last bell rung, and then slowly made my way to class.

"Do you have a note, Ms. Edwards?" Mrs. Dawes asked, and I shook my head.

"No." My voice instinctively rose because I knew that I was in trouble; he would hear about it. If I was put into a detention, I wouldn't even want to know how worse the pain would be.

Mrs. Dawes looked at me with utter sincerity, but continued class without giving me a detention. I wiped under my eyes to check that I hadn't started crying. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Adam was watching every move that I made, but I didn't dare glance at him. I reminded myself that he was on Eli's side of the argument; he was one to judge by false accusations, not by the truth.

Once the bell rung, I sat in my seat staring anxiously at the board in the front of the classroom. Mrs. Dawes was getting ready to leave, but I didn't mind it. It didn't bother me.

"Uh, Clare?" I looked up at Adam, but I shook my head.

"I'm going to stay here for a while." I murmured, looking at Mrs. Dawes packing up. I shook my head after a moment of silence. "You believed him, didn't you?"

He let out a harsh chuckle before answering. "Oh yeah, Clare. I totally did." He sarcastically said, and I couldn't help but feel my face redden. I had to learn to master not crying soon enough. "He only came to my house and vented. What did you guys do, particularly?"

I sniffled. "I wouldn't get intimate." I stated, playing with my fingers.

"Well," he started, sitting back down. By now all the students had left the classroom except for us and Mrs. Dawes. "He knows your beliefs. He wouldn't try to-"

"No, Adam." I whispered, looking at him. "It's not like that; I wouldn't let him touch me in any way."

"Well why?" Adam sounded somewhat rushed to ask.

"It hurt." I retorted. My eyes widened as I noticed what I had just said. I clenched my jaw shut.

"What?" Adam asked, astonished. I knew what he was thinking; that Eli had hurt me.

"No," I half cried, feeling tears brim my eyes. "You can't think of it that way."

Adam scoffed. "I swear that if he hurt you-"

"He didn't." I cut him off, reassuring him. "Eli never hurt me."

"Then who hurt you?" He egged on, and I shook my head.

"I can't tell you."

"That's bull!" He shouted, receiving a surprised look from Mrs. Dawes.

She hadn't seen that we were still in here. "Mr. Torres, are we having an issue?" She asked, slightly concerned. Adam had never raised his voice.

He shook his head, a slight smile placed on his face. "No Mrs. Dawes, nothing's wrong. Sorry." He apologized before grabbing my hand and leading me to the door. I didn't know where he was taking me, but frankly I didn't care anymore. If he was going to throw me off a cliff, I would gladly accept it.

"Clare," he started, and I could hear his voice rise slightly. We abruptly stopped halfway in the parking lot. "You have to tell me what's going on."

I shook my head. "I don't have to tell you anything. Nothing's going on."

Adam laughed loudly. "Hah! I would've believed you if you didn't have such a big mouth. Not spill; rip off the band aid-you can't keep this to yourself."

"But I have to!" I argued, raising my hands in the air. "If I tell you then I'll be in more trouble! Nothing good is going to come out of this!" I was screaming, I knew it, but I couldn't contain myself any longer. "God was supposed to give me this great life, and look at what I have! Divorced parents! A sister I don't see anymore! A boyfriend who thinks I don't love him anymore! Everything I loved is now gone!"

Adam looked dumbfounded as I ranted on and on, trying to give him a hint to keep forcing the answers out of me. I wanted to tell him everything; from my parent's divorce to my dad's beating. I wanted to show him the scars, the wounds, everything. But I couldn't.

"Just get away from me." I cried as I walked away from the scene that had just been portrayed. I couldn't bear to look at my best friend's pain as to what I had just vented about, and I didn't want to hear his reaction of it.

I ran down to the church, stomping my way to the cross that was displayed in the front of the old, friendly place of worship. "Help me!" I cried, hoping that God would get the message. "I have been suffering so long with this life; I want a refund!"

A chuckle behind me made me turn around. "I don't think they give refunds in heaven." Goliah said, and I knew that he hadn't seen my expression before. His small smirk plummeted as true concern showed on his face, and I couldn't help but ignore it.

"Save your pity for someone else. I've had enough." I said when I saw him open his mouth. "You should leave."

Goliah shook his head. "No; you need someone to hear you out. I'm all ears." His smirk returned once again, but I rolled my eyes.

"I would never tell it to someone I just met a day ago." I said, turning back to the cross. "And I'm done venting for the day, anyways."

Goliah shrugged. "I'll make sure to come back tomorrow; then you should be ready to vent again."

I laughed. "Goliah, listen to me and listen closely, okay? I don't wish to tell you my issues. I don't even know you. You are just some stuck up singer who thinks that everything revolves around you. You wouldn't care to hear about my life."

Goliah opened his mouth, but quickly shut it. "If you judge people by first sights, then you are never going to get better with getting help." The words should've hurt more than they had, but I couldn't care.

"I'm just waiting for my death sentence." I stated, glaring at the cross.

* * *

**So,**

**The ending may be a little surprising. I have nothing else to say on that.**

**And does anyone have an idea as to why I've added Goliah? I'd like to hear your thoughts on him!**


	3. Death

Mrs. Dawes gave yet again another assignment in partner groups. I could hear in my mind how Eli would groan when he would hear about the assignment, thinking of having to work with _me_ again. I didn't understand what was so bad about me, though. If he understood half of my story, he'd be able to forgive me.

It was too bad I couldn't even talk about it without making any sense. How was I supposed to get better if I couldn't even tell any of my best friends?

I could feel Adam burning a hole into the side of my skull, but I ignored it as much as I possibly could. He understood that someone was beating me, someone who wasn't Eli and someone who I now feared. I knew that he would tell Eli, tell anyone that could possibly help me.

But I didn't want help.

"You and your partner are to find one word that represents you; give both the dictionary explanation and _your _explanation as to how it represents you. This will be due on Monday, no exceptions." I could hear the murmur of the students around me, but the one voice that I could hear above the rest was Adam's.

"I think we should pick belonging." He said to his partner, loud enough for me to hear. I glanced over in his direction to see the now-familiar glare he sent me. I rolled my eyes, taking out my phone from under my desk. Typing the five words that I knew Eli would be happy to oblige to, I pressed _send_ without hesitance.

"_Death"_

_Only Hope_

The day went by faster as I continued writing my part of the assignment, slowly drinking the cup of coffee Peter hesitantly gave to me while I sat in the back of the Dot. I could already see a new opening as to how I could get my secret out; _death_ was something that would perfectly relate to the consequences I have been having at home.

I breathed out a smile, looking over at my work once again before saving it. The whole day was now ahead of me; I couldn't help but think of what to do on a Friday night.

"Clare." Eli breathed, and I felt myself frown. I closed my laptop, giving him all of my attention.

"Yeah?" I asked timidly, wondering why he was here. If someone wasn't too strong enough to go to class, why would they be able to come to the Dot?

Eli took the seat across from me, looking nervous. I had never seen Eli nervous other than when I found out that he was a hoarder. He played with the ring that was placed on his thumb. "We need to talk." His voice was hoarse, like he wasn't able to talk about the situation at hand. "Adam told me something."

This part came all too quickly, and I couldn't help but want to hide; want to find a place in the world where no one would find me so that I could contently stay by myself in peace. A place where no one would be able to bring my spirit down, or hold me to any of the pain that I received.

I shrugged. "That's Adam." I spat, all of my hatred let out with his name. Adam was no longer a friend of mine.

Eli looked bewildered. "He just wants to help you Clare, and so do I."

I laughed a little too loudly, inching toward hysterics. "You didn't seem to want to help your unwilling girlfriend a few days ago! You were actually starting to inch away from me, not getting closer."

"But I didn't know what was happening to you! You didn't tell me about how you were getting hurt, how you were getting beaten!" Eli's voice was just a little higher than a whisper now, and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. He did care.

"But you don't care about me." I cried, trying to convince myself. "You aren't someone who can help me in this situation; no one can."

Eli looked out the window, frustrated that I was holding him back. But I wouldn't spill; I wouldn't be the cause of my own death.

"I got your text." He said, and my eyes brightened just a little. "I didn't understand it at first, but when I asked Adam he explained about our assignment."

I nodded. "Well," I started off, trying to make my voice sound less judgmental. "I know you have a thing for death, but I can relate to the word also." I saw one of his eyebrows raise, but I ignored it.

"I wouldn't think Saint Clare would have any relation to _death_." He amused, smirking. I shook my head.

"You don't know the half of it." I stated coldly. No one knew who I was anymore. Heck, I almost didn't know who I was anymore. I would've never back talked to any of my friends or family, even God. But yet I did.

"Yeah, but what I do know is that your getting beaten for something that you won't tell me." He retorted. I rolled my eyes.

"This conversation is over with." I stated, leaving my money for the coffee on the table.

_Only Hope_

I found myself wandering to the café that I had gone to not too long ago, wondering if they would have another music night. I hoped they did; I really needed to get away from it all; all the drama and pain that was held in my life. Goliah could've been playing, but for all I knew he now disliked me.

But it was easier this way; he wouldn't get stuck in a tangle of webs that were full of lies.

The café was now deserted. I walked in, hearing the bell at the top of the door beautifully echo throughout the room and up the stairs.

"Hey, welcome to-" the boy started off, but once he saw me I knew that he wasn't going to finish his welcome. Goliah stood there, in his café uniform. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You work here?" I asked, bemused. I only thought that he was live entertainment.

Goliah sarcastically laughed. "Yeah, is that so weird?"

My laughing died down, as well as my laugh. "No." I murmured, not wanting to deal with his sarcasm. I just wanted a friendly conversation.

His sarcasm plummeted, and for a second I could see some sympathy towards me from his eyes. He shook his head. "Anyways," he said, walking behind the counter. "What can I get for you?"

"Surprise me." I said, wandering around the room. The faint smell of coffee beans was inviting, sending a welcoming scent to anyone who entered. "How long have you worked here?" I asked, curious.

Goliah shrugged. "A few months," he replied. "But I have done live entertainment here for about a year."

My eyebrows rose in amusement. "Striving to become a singer?" I asked. Goliah shook his head, laughing at himself.

His eyes sparked with energy. "It's a hobby," he started off, still making whatever he was making in the back. "My little cousin had taught me how to play guitar, but man, he sucked at singing. I told him that I would live his legend."

I joined in on his laughter, thinking of how great a life he had. I was happy for him.

_Only Hope_

The weekend was no picnic: the beatings had been getting worse, and one accidentally ended up showing from my clothes, lining the side of my face with a thick red line. I cried at the sight every time I saw it, wondering why I had to live _this_ life.

I knew that there were so many people in my situation; but did they have it worse than _this_? I shuddered; I didn't want to know.

He also seemed to think that I was getting it too "easy". He took away my cell phone, my television, my social life—everything but my laptop, since I had to do homework online every night.

I thanked God for letting me have access to a computer in my own home; it helped to be able to be connected somehow to the outside world that I used to live in.

Monday appeared sooner than ever; I wasn't ready to show my part of the assignment. What if I told too much in it?

More importantly, what if Eli finally saw my whole life just from my assignment? I couldn't let Eli get hurt; he can't defend me now.

I'm on my own.

Mrs. Dawes was late, which was actually strange for her. She was the only teacher that I had known to be on time to class every day. I could feel Eli's gaze on my back, but I couldn't turn around—I was frozen.

I looked down at the typed essay I had in front of me; I could destroy the evidence before anyone else saw it. I could tell Eli and Mrs. Dawes that I forgot my essay at home, and that I would bring it in tomorrow and it would contain a dully written essay on something that I didn't believe. But this is what I wanted, isn't it? To let people around me know that something tragic was happening to me in my house?

"Would anyone like to read their assignment?" Mrs. Dawes asked instantly, and I sunk into my chair. I wished to disappear when I noticed that she was looking at Eli, nodding her head.

Damn it. I would have to go after him.

Eli walked to the front of the room with a composed face. I knew why Eli was doing this to me; he wanted me to be forced to read my part aloud.

Eli took a deep breath in before turning to Mrs. Dawes. "Clare and I chose the word death." He stated, and Mrs. Dawes sent me a shocked look. If only she knew the half of it, but she would soon enough.

"Death means the end of someone's life. My definition of death is figurative; someone can face death if they do not allow themselves to tell the whole truth." A glance in my direction. "I can relate to this since I have lied before; I was a hoarder. I faced death of my social life and my relationships since I was embarrassed of being a hoarder. The one thing that is good, according to me, about figurative death is that you can recover from it, which is the gift of second chances." The class was silent as he finished; no one other than Adam and I knew that Eli Goldsworthy was a hoarder. Mrs. Dawes applauded Eli.

"Very well done," she exclaimed. "You put a lot of emotion into your work. Clare?" She asked, and I knew what I had to do.

The dreaded moment had arrived.

I slowly walked up to the front of the classroom, feeling like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. My legs shook, I became dizzy, and I couldn't remember why I had chosen this time to tell others about my life.

Eli walked past me, seeming a little more sympathetic towards me; I guess it was because he was able to vent. Either that, or I was just imagining things now.

I looked at Mrs. Dawes, seeing her encouraging eyes egging me on. I let out a shaky breath, not knowing that I was holding one.

"Death: the end of life.

The state of being dead.

Extinction; destruction.

Manner of dying.

All of these words can be seen in a dictionary, but none relate to what I feel. None explain the explicit pain that I see every day, the pain that no one else even notices that I receive." I breathed in a shaky breath, keeping one question in my mind: _Why am I telling them this?_ "And I don't mean figuratively." I almost glared at Adam and Eli for not understanding what I was going through. All of a sudden, a wave of confidence rolled over me; I could easily prove to myself and to everyone that I was not a liar, that I was not someone in the shadows. "I am beaten every day by my father." I stated, and this time my voice did not shake. This was not what I had written in my essay; my voice was out of control. I heard Mrs. Dawes sharply inhale next to me. Eli looked at Adam, sharing an unknowing glance—they didn't know that I received it _every_ day by my _father_. "I don't tell anyone because I am threatened, and I have to keep myself strong because I know that if I give up, death will be upon me." My voice broke at the end, but I gladly finished.

Silence ensued in the class, but it seemed like the whole world was silent. I couldn't hear anything other than my heavy breathing.

"I have to go." I hastily said, running out of the classroom. I could hear Mrs. Dawes call after me, but I didn't want to hear her voice—I wanted to hear my _boyfriend_ call after me, to tell me that I would get through this with him.

I didn't hear his voice.

I ran as far as I could away from the damn school.

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**Five more reviews and the next chapter goes up :)**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while; I was working on this earlier last week and found it today. Might as well finish it.**

**But now people know that Clare gets beaten by her father! What do you think is going to happen?**


	4. Music to My Ears

Clare looked in front of her to see that she had no idea where she ran off to; it faintly looked familiar, and she tried forcing herself to bring up every one of her past memories to find out how she knew the place.

The park was ahead of her, but she didn't want to go to it; instead, she went to the left of her, walking by the shopping stores next to her.

It looked _so_ familiar, but why?

The sun was still bright, but there was a damp wind that caused Clare to bundle in her sweater; it was nearing winter nowadays, and yet she didn't care to buy herself a new coat. She knew that her father would destroy it once he noticed it.

There was a music store that stood out to Clare; the building was painted to form the keys on a piano—she could tell that it was out of ordinary for the town because it was so plain.

She entered, feeling like she was in a Halloween store at first—the walls were painted black, and the lighting was dimmed until the hall led to an open room. Clare nearly gaped as she saw how perfectly arranged everything was. The room was the height of two floors, and the room was as big as her house; pianos were placed carefully by the windows, and the guitars were across from them.

But that wasn't what Clare was looking at; instead, she was looking at the grand piano in the center of the room, about three feet above the floor. She looked around to see if she could ask to play it, but the place seemed vacant. She curiously stepped up the small stairs, and sat on the bench, letting her fingers glide over the piano.

Clare used to play piano when she was in middle school because her family owned a piano; the piano had sold for Clare's "college" money not too long ago.

Clare doubted that she'd get the money though, since her father seemed to use it on beer and alcohol.

Pressing lightly on the keys, it made a familiar sound that she had remembered from long ago; she slowly started the song to make sure that she had the right chords.

She played the melody, but she couldn't find the words to it; it had been too long since she last heard it. Instead, she just repeated the verses.

She gasped softly when she heard footsteps coming into the store; she fled from the grand piano to show no signs that she had been playing it. She feigned interest in the upright pianos.

She looked to see who had come in; Goliah. Clare rolled her eyes; _of course_. Whenever she was in a bad mood, Goliah would just come from nowhere.

Then she remembered: this was where _he_ lived. A shudder went down her back as she thought about how weird it was that she knew so much about him.

"Hey, Goliah. Long time no see." She sarcastically remarked, and Goliah smirked. His green eyes look matched his brown hair in the weirdest way—they brought her to think of Eli. She looked away, trying to find a distraction.

"Well, _Clare_," he emphasized. "This _is_ where I live—I should be asking you why _you're_ here."

Clare hesitantly pushed on one of the keys before stepping away from it. "I needed to get away." She hoarsely said, thinking back at her dramatic exit. She shook her head, faking a smile. "It's okay though."

Goliah chuckled and shook his head. Clare's eyebrow rose. "You think I'm lying?" She asked which made him laugh harder.

"You are the worst liar in the world, Clare, I swear. Anyone is able to read you like a book." Goliah walked closer to Clare, pointing to a framed picture on the wall in front of Clare that she hadn't seen; it was of a girl from an abuse ad who looked like what Clare must've looked like on the inside. She swallowed.

"You see this?" Goliah asked, taking down the picture. He pointed to the dark scars on her arms. "This was an advertisement from not too long ago; abuse had been pretty bad in this town. You see, we had this issue in my family when my cousin was being abused by her father; sketchy, right?" Clare could feel the tears coming, but nodded wordlessly. Goliah looked at Clare. "_This_ is the truth; something that you aren't telling. So spill." He shrugged, looking innocently into Clare's eyes. Clare swallowed.

"If-" she struggled starting, but she decided that she might as well; her whole class knew. "This picture tells more than your cousins story, and this girls story," She could feel that Goliah was confused, which made her force the words out. "I am, also." She struggled keeping a composed face, which was obviously failing.

Goliah looked concerned at Clare, who was ready to leave the scene; she always seemed to say much. Goliah grabbed her arm.

"That's not something to be joking with." He added sternly, but once he saw that she was crying, he couldn't help but pull her into an embrace. She let him comfort her as she sobbed hard into his shoulder.

"I can't go back." She cried, trying to stop her tears. "I know that if I do, it'll just get worse, but I have no other family."

Goliah beckoned her to calm down, even though he didn't know what he could do about her situation. When his cousin had the issue, she easily was able to live with Goliah's aunt; instead, Clare didn't have any family.

"I honestly don't know what to tell you." He stated, thinking furiously of a way for Clare to live in safety. He obviously couldn't bring her to his house; they had just met before the month!

Clare looked up into his eyes, attempting to blink back the tears. "Can you help me?" She inaudibly asked, and Goliah sternly nodded—he would _not_ let anything bad happen to Clare.

Even though he had no idea how the hell they were going to fix this.

* * *

**Who the hell is Goliah and why is he in this story?**

**I know why; I just can't tell you ;)**

**5 reveiws (making 17 total) will get the next chapter up, and I can say that either the next chapter (or the next after that) will be a turning point with some EClare issues, but THEY WILL GET BETTER. I promise.**


	5. Saying Goodbye

Clare wanted to ask, but she couldn't get the words out without them sounding incomprehensible. She wanted to see if Goliah could possibly give her some place to stay, until she was able to find a place of her own.

But she knew that there was no way out of this easily; she had no money of her own. She would be living on the streets possibly for the rest of her life.

"I have to go home," she concluded, sending her into another round of hysteria. She slowly made her way for the exit but Goliah lightly grabbed her arm. She took it back hastily, feeling the bruise that her father had made not too long ago.

Goliah put his hands up. "Sorry, sorry." He repeated, but he had succeeded in stopping Clare. That was all that mattered. "Clare, I can't let you get hurt just because your father blames everything on you; I wouldn't be able to live thinking how I could've helped you when you were in need of helping." Goliah couldn't believe what he was asking, but he attempted his last decision. "I have a guest room at my house; you'd have a bedroom and a bathroom of your own. It's still new, though; my cousin lived there when she was charging her father for child abuse." Goliah shrugged, waiting for Clare's answer.

Clare looked at him wide-eyed as if this was some sort of joke. "I wouldn't be a problem to your family?" She asked with hope in her eyes.

Goliah shook his head, and Clare saw that his eyes were full of indecision. "They'd understand." He said quietly, looking down at the floor.

Clare nodded, feeling her tears stop falling. She attempted to smile at Goliah. "Thanks," she muttured, wiping underneath her eyes.

Goliah shrugged once again. "I just can't help but think about what my cousin had gone through." He said, looking off into space. He blinked before looking back at Clare, nodding towards the exit.

_Only Hope_

Clare had told Goliah to drop her off at her house so that she could pack some of her belongings. "My dad won't be home," She said as Goliah stopped the car in front of her house. "I know his time schedule." She added quietly, trying not to think about why she knew it so well.

Goliah sighed, not happy with her decision, but nodded. "I'll drive around the town for a few minutes so that you have time to pack and I'll be able to be close by in case he _is_ around. Once you're done, just wait outside."

Clare agreed, smiling back at him before entering her house.

The house still had the eerie silence that Clare had grown accustomed to when her father's beatings became more frequent. She obviously saw the large mass of beer bottles on the living room floor, right next to the couch which he nearly lived on.

The stairs creaked with every step that she took, like they were to fall in at any moment.

Once Clare got up to her room, she saw that everything was in the same order as it was when she had left for school that day; all of her pictures had fallen to the floor, leaving the walls naked and empty. Clare hurried to her closet to get her suitcase, and filled it with the most important items she had; her laptop, books, clothes, and chargers. She hastily closed the suitcase when she heard a knock at the door.

Clare froze in her place; who would even bother to visit the house? After Helen left, no family friends came over. It was like the whole family had moved instead of one person.

But then one word came into mind: _Goliah_. He said that he would watch over the house just in case anything happened.

She fled down the staircase, opening it quickly. Her scared expression turned into shock as she saw Eli in front of her.

"What do you want?" She asked coldly.

Eli waited to see if she would allow him inside, but instead she continued to stand in front of the doorway. Eli huffed loudly. "I wanted to talk to you." He said, and Clare shook her head.

"I don't want to talk; I have to go, anyways." Clare had left the door to walk back inside, Eli following her. "You might as well leave, Eli."

"Where are you going?" Eli asked, curious. He didn't think that Clare would go anywhere other than her house and Degrassi because of her father's orders.

She shook her head. "Somewhere else; I'm not going to live here anymore."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Clare," He said, grabbing her arm. Clare yanked it back, traveling upstairs to retrieve her suitcase. "You can't just _leave_. You don't have any other family. At least stay at my house; then I'll know that your safe."

Clare laughed. "Look at us, Eli—we already have enough issues with our relationship; it wouldn't work out." Clare felt a tug from her heart as she saw as Eli's expression fell, but didn't bother to apologize. She was telling the truth. "If you need me," she said while she brought her suitcase downstairs. "Then find me at school; I'll still be going to Degrassi."

Eli frantically followed her, not knowing what to say. Would anything work at the moment? Once Clare made it to the doorway he said, "Clare, you can't run away from your fears. Please, just come back to my house and we'll figure something out. You can't—you can't do this."

Clare shook her head, looking back into his emerald eyes. "I can." She replied. "And I don't think this is working out. _This_," she said, pointing from herself to Eli, "isn't working. It's just making my life harder."

"What?" Eli's voice was strained, and Clare noticed that his eyes were becoming teary.

Clare felt her heart break, but she believed it was better this way. "Goodbye." She half whispered, not having the strength to look back into his eyes as she departed from the house, leaving Eli inside.

Once Clare saw Goliah's car in view, she felt the tears travel down her cheeks; there was nothing that was worth living for anymore.

* * *

**Just so you guys know, this is NOT the big event. I have no idea if it'll be in the next chapter, since it's so early in the story, but it's coming!**

**I got _really_ into this chapter because the one coming up is what I've been waiting for-I can't believe not one person has guessed it yet! I'm literally dying inside keeping this to myself!**

**Five more reviews (24 total) will bring the big event closer :)**


	6. Looking for What's in Front of You

Goliah remained silent as he watched Clare out of the corner of his eye, miserably failing at hiding his curiosity. "Was your dad there?" He asked after a moment of silence, and she shook her head, the tears falling more freely.

"It wasn't my dad," she hoarsely whispered. "It was my boyfriend." She stuttered on the last word, not wanting to think about it.

"Oh," was all that came out of Goliah. He hoped that he didn't interrupt Clare's relationship; he would feel like an ass until they would mend things back together.

Clare brought her head out of her hands, looking up at Goliah. "I don't think it's going to get better." She muttered, almost as if she could read his mind. "I said some things, maybe too much for him to forgive me."

Goliah couldn't help but want to help Clare become her happy self. He knew that she was completely different than who she had been since she met him, but it would be a pleasant surprise to see what Clare was like beforehand. "I'm sorry." He replied, trying to help her.

Clare laughed. "You did nothing wrong; it was just too much for me." Goliah felt a weight lift off his chest; he could finally breathe once again. It didn't take long for the two to enter Goliah's town, and finally reach their destination—his house.

Goliah went to the back of his car and brought Clare's bag to the front door, unlocking it with Clare right behind him. Clare looked around his house, noticing that it was incredibly large. She was nearly gaping as she saw his living room; the room looked like something she'd imagine a hard rocker would have; the dark maroon-red walls had pictures from tons of rock concerts covering the walls neatly and orderly.

"Take a look around." He softly told her, as to make it not sound like a demand. Clare went straight for the living room, seeing that Goliah owned three guitars and one upright piano. Clare's eyes widened as she saw the piano, thinking of how much she could now play it; her smile grew.

"Did you design this room?" She asked. Goliah shook his head.

"Nah; my family is a big rock addict—I just hope you don't listen to any pop or country, it's forbidden in this household." He added a wink before Clare laughed.

"Don't worry, I've already grown into rock."

Goliah's eyebrow rose. "Oh?"

Clare nodded. "It seems surprising to everyone, but it really isn't. I listen to hard rock, too." Sending him a shrug, she pressed random keys on the piano.

"What's your favorite band then?" Goliah pressed on their conversation.

"I have a few," She added. "It's a combination of My Chemical Romance, Sugarcult, Guns n' Roses, Van Halen, and Bon Jovi."

"Damn," Goliah murmured, quiet enough for Clare not to hear. They had common tastes. "Well, feel free to play whatever songs you want to; _that_ is a privilege, might I tell you."

Clare rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever." She teased. She turned to ask Goliah, "Where's the guest room?"

Goliah led her up the stairs and through a long hallway, which brought Clare to her own wing of the house, large enough for three people. "I was somewhat expecting the size after seeing the living room." She laughed. Goliah snorted.

"No you weren't." He added. Clare looked at him.

"Excuse me, but are you implying that I am always surprised?" Goliah nodded, coming close enough for Clare to smell his cologne. Her nose twitched from the familiar smell.

Goliah feigned his thinking before finally nodding. "Yeah," he smugly added. Clare could tell that they were dangerously close to each other, but she couldn't help but feel, _daring_.

Clare wanted to close the space between them, as did Goliah, but Clare finally panicked and went farther into her new room. She placed her suitcase on the table in front of the bed before awkwardly walking around the room.

"Where's your parents?" She added, and Goliah shrugged.

"Out." He casually added.

"Are they always out?" Clare curiously asked. She more or less feared that being with Goliah alone would _not_ be a good idea.

Goliah smirked, making Clare speechless. "Somewhat," he said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "They usually go out for their meals together."

Clare swallowed hard, looking away from Goliah; he had everything that she seemed to want. She would've done anything for a non-abusive father, married parents, and a place to live.

"I'm going to the bathroom." She announced, leaving in such a hurry that Goliah didn't have a chance to speak.

Clare took her time to calm down in the bathroom. She reassured herself that she was now part of Goliah's family for the time being—she could have her _dream_ life for a little while. Wasn't that what she wanted, or did she just want to live in sorrow and depression?

Clare brought cold water from the sink up to her face before looking in the mirror. She looked better than she had imagined; not much bruising from the beatings were shown outside of her clothing.

Once she left the bathroom, she walked downstairs to see Goliah watching TV, his legs propped up on the remainder of the couch. She was about to take the seat next to the couch when Goliah made room for her next to him.

"What are you watching?" She asked, and Goliah answered, "Music videos." He grinned menacingly.

Clare laughed at his expression. "What?" She asked.

"What about we do a game or something? We don't seem to know much about each other."

Clare shrugged; why not? She would at least find out some things about her new family. "What game?"

Goliah thought for a second. In the background, Clare could hear the music softly playing from the television, silently calming her. "Why don't we just ask each other questions?" He asked, and Clare agreed.

"Sure," she said, looking up at him before shyly looking away. She had _just_ broken up with Eli, she should still be in the pain that he was in.

But why wasn't she? He didn't want anything to do with her before he found out about her secret; he had accused her of something completely different.

Clare looked back up at Goliah with new confidence; she _deserved_ happiness.

Goliah smiled lightly. "What are your hobbies?"

Clare smiled. "Writing, playing the piano and guitar, and singing." She thought of how many memories she had about freshman year; especially with Declan Coyne when she had written her fanfiction. She laughed to herself, asking "And you?" before Goliah had a chance to ask.

Goliah enjoyed that Clare was more carefree than before. "Guitar, singing, piano, and art." Clare didn't find that as surprising as he had thought of hers.

Clare then asked, "Who is the most important to you in your family?"

She noticed that Goliah had to really think about it, making her smile. She was happy that she had very thoughtful questions to ask. "My cousin." He said, and he added a smirk. "He was the only person who helped me through my depression because he had gone through it, too."

Clare looked at him with thoughtfulness. "Does he visit you often?" Goliah nodded.

"A lot," he smiled. "But mostly when he's having trouble; we're always there for each other, I guess you could say."

"I wish I had someone who did that for me." Clare added. "I could've used it not too long ago."

A silence enveloped until Goliah broke the ice. "What song is playing in your head right now?"

Clare laughed. "Your questions are too easy; Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance." Goliah smiled.

"Are you able to relate to it?"

Clare said, "Kind of; it's one of the only songs that I can sing my heart out in."

Goliah stood up from the couch, grabbing the electric Fender. Clare curiously looked up at him. "I'm going to steal your question—will you sing Cemetery Drive with me?"

Clare's smile grew. "You know how to play it?" She asked.

"Hell yes!" Goliah added. "It's my favorite song from them." Clare laughed before accepting his offer.

Clare watched while Goliah plugged in the Fender, adrenaline eating her alive. No one had ever heard her sing before other than the cafeteria in freshman year, and at the time she was nervous. She now sounded like an angel, since she had had lessons.

Clare started solo as Goliah got used to the beat of the song.

_"This night, walk the dead_

_In a solitary style_

_And crash the cemetery gates._

_In the dress your husband hates."_

Both Clare and Goliah were nodding their heads to the beat, getting lost in the trance that it seemed to send them.

_"Way down, mark the grave_

_Where the search lights found us_

_Drinking by the mausoleum door_

_And they found you on the bathroom floor."_

Clare looked into Goliah's eyes before singing, _"I miss you, I miss you so far._

_And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard._

_Goliah started the next verse, smiling._

_Back home, off the run_

_Singing songs that make you slit your wrists_

_It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun_

_So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying_

_If you want I'll keep on crying_

_Did you get what you deserve?_

_Is this what you always want me for?"_

The chorus started again, and Clare saw that they were getting closer once again. Clare could feel herself blushing furiously, but Goliah seemed unfazed once the bridge came.

_"I miss you, I miss you so far._

_And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard._

_I miss you, I miss you so far._

_And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard._

_Made it so hard._

_Way down, way down._

_Way down, way down._

_Way down, way down._

_Way down, way down._

_Way down."_

Clare froze once she saw that Goliah was leaning in closer, and Clare couldn't help but feel the want in his eyes. She deserved this, she kept remembering herself. She didn't deserve someone who made sudden assumptions.

She could feel that their lips were a centimeter away when she leaned far back. "I'm sorry, I just can't do this. You remind me too much of someone." The doorbell rang.

Goliah opened his mouth to say something while she quickly went up the stairs, hastily spitting out, "Going to bed—night!" Goliah sighed loudly before getting up to get the door.

Goliah groaned once he saw who was at the door. "What do you want, cous?" He asked.

Eli came in suddenly, walking towards the kitchen.

"Please, feel free to come in." Goliah sarcastically added.

Eli turned to look at his cousin, and instead of making a witty response to Goliah's words, his face was distraught. "I need some help, man." He said, and Goliah looked curiously at him.

"My girlfriend has been having some issues lately with her family, and when I went to her house today she suddenly broke up with me. She got up and said that she was leaving to live with someone else, and I don't know where she is." Eli sniffled while he made his way to the living room. He wiped under his eyes to make sure that he wasn't crying.

Goliah responded with a "Huh," as he thought about what he and his cousin could do about the situation. Since Clare was upstairs, sleeping, he had nothing else to do. He shrugged. "Let's go look for her."

Eli nodded as he left, Goliah right behind him.

* * *

**So yes, Eli is Goliah's younger cousin.**

**What do you think'll happen when Clare and Eli see each other again?**

**And do any of you think this'll become part Clare/Goliah? ;)**

**5 more reviews (32 total) and the next chapter goes up.**


	7. Isn't This How It's Supposed to Be?

Clare heard the door open and close at some ridiculous hour; looking over at the clock, she saw that it was three in the morning.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought of who would come to the house at _three in the morning_, and curiously got up from her bed.

She went towards the hallway, looking down to see Goliah take off his coat, talking to someone.

"You can stay here for the night, but I have a guest, so you'll have to take the room downstairs." His guest huffed loudly, unpleased with having to sleep downstairs.

"Since when do you have guests?" He asked in a mocking tone, one that sounded familiar to Clare. She tried not to make any sound as she lowered herself from their vision.

Goliah shrugged. "She needed a place to stay." He quietly muttered.

Eli chuckled. "A girl, hmm?" Clare held her breath as she saw Eli look up towards the hallway that she was in, but he didn't see her.

"It's not like that. She has no family to protect her; so I took her under my wing."

Eli looked at him with an indescribable expression. "Well, what happened to her?" He asked curiously, and Goliah looked suddenly uncomfortable.

"It's none of your business Eli," he said. But it _was_ his business, he just didn't know.

Clare crawled quietly to her room, making a sudden _tweak_ in the floorboard. Goliah met Clare's eyes, and once he saw the fear in them, he tried distracting Eli. "Must be the parents." He laughed nervously, watching Clare crawl out of sight.

Eli turned to him. "Gross." He softly said, a disgusted expression growing on his face. "Night, man." He yawned as he walked downstairs.

Goliah ran up the stairs at an incredible rate to go see Clare. "What're you doing up?" He asked incredulously under his breath. Clare shrugged.

"Am I not supposed to see who comes to the house at three in the morning?" She defended herself. His gaze met hers when she said, "So Eli is your cousin?"

Goliah nodded, at first oblivious. Then some things registered in him. "Wait, you know him?" He asked.

She nodded. "That's my ex boyfriend." She quietly said, hoping that Goliah didn't hear her. Goliah's eyes widened.

"_Him?_" He said, trying to keep his voice quiet. "Do you know how long we have been trying to find _you_? If I had known that you-"

"Don't, please." Clare whimpered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I can't talk to him—not yet."

"Why not?" Goliah sounded angry, but Clare didn't pick up on it.

Clare let the tears fall down her cheeks. "Because I'm scared." She said in a broken tone, sobbing into her hands.

Goliah's expression softened, but he still couldn't wrap his finger around all that had happened. "Well I at least need to tell him that you're here." He quietly said, and Clare's head shot up.

"No," she cried. "Please. Don't."

Goliah shook his head. "If I don't tell him, he might do something that he can't take back; he needs to know, Clare." Clare got up from the edge of her bed and went to her closet.

"And to think that I trusted you." She spat, going to retrieve her suitcase.

Goliah followed her to the closet. "Where are you going now?" He confusedly asked.

"Home." She stated, and before Goliah could say anything she added, "It's better to get beaten than having to face _him_."

Goliah's expression turned into disgust. "That's horrible, Clare. After all that he has done for you, and you just decide that you can't face him—that it's _better_ to be beaten by your father?" Clare turned to warily meet his gaze.

"That's why I'm leaving." She said in a monotone voice, as if she didn't have any life.

Goliah knew that now was the time to call out for Eli so that he could help Clare not make the mistake of her life. As Clare reached the top of the stairs, Goliah bellowed, "Eli!"

Fear crossed Clare's face, making her run down the stairs and to the door, but by the time she got to the threshold Eli had come up from the basement.

Eli met Clare's gaze, who looked like she was a deer in headlights. Eli stood there dumbfounded until Clare ran out.

_Only Hope_

Clare's IPod drowned her in music as she walked to her house in darkness. She knew that there were some unpredictable events that could happen to her as she walked home, but she didn't care. It was better than having to talk to Eli.

One thing that she had forgotten was the way back to her house; it was even harder to do so when everything was black. She wished that she had brought a flashlight.

Headlights came from the back of her, which made her turn around to see a black hearse. She picked up speed as she made a sharp turn that Eli couldn't turn on.

The horn honked, but Clare made a run for it. She looked for every possible hiding spot, hoping that Eli wouldn't be able to find her.

"Clare!" He called, and she could tell that he had gotten out of his car, but she still ran. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to explain. She didn't want to show him that she was a wreck without him. It was better this way; he would be happier without her.

Clare met herself face to face with a river, but she didn't know how to swim. She stopped an inch away from the fall down to the river, thinking about her decision.

As she attempted the jump a pair of arms grabbed her, pulling her back to land. She cried and fought but knew that she couldn't do anything. She had to be face to face with her ex boyfriend.

"Let me go, Eli." She cried, kicking her legs like a little kid. Instead of answering, he just remained silent; Clare needed to get this out of her system. His grasp never loosened around her waist, but instead pulled her to the ground so that she could sit.

Clare gave up the fighting after a few minutes, and started to sob hysterically. "Let me die, Eli. Let me die."

She could tell that her choice of words would anger him, but she didn't care. She had no reason to live anymore; she wanted to have a new life.

"So you're just going to give up?" He asked, mocking her. "Haven't you ever heard that suicide will just keep you here? You wouldn't be able to go to heaven for years."

Clare shook her head. "I don't care." She attempted, wiping her cheeks. "I can't deal with my life."

"Why not?" Eli fought, angry. He didn't want to lose her just like Julia. "You can make it through this, but not alone. No one can deal with the world on their own—everyone needs help from someone else."

"But I tried getting help." She murmured, looking away from Eli. "It didn't work."

"How do you know that, Clare?" Eli asked; still keep his hold around her. "You never let me help you once you told me that your father abused you." She grimaced as she heard the word _father_, and tried getting out of Eli's grasp. Eli's tightened his hold, making Clare whimper.

"Ow," she said under her breath, which made Eli loosen his grip slightly.

"Look at what he's done to you." He convinced her. "Look at all that scars that you have gotten from going home. You can't go back if you want to get better."

"That's why I went to Goliah's," she muttured, and Eli tensed. He didn't want to have any competition for Clare with his favorite cousin. "And it's better for you if we aren't together; you'll be able to be happy."

"Clare," he sternly said, forcing Clare to look at him. "I am not happy without you. I'd take a bullet for you if I had to; I would do _anything_ to make sure that you stayed happy. Does that sound like I'm _trying_ to force you to go back home? No, and I won't let you go home. You don't deserve to get beaten."

Clare still felt the tears fall down her face, but she now felt guilty for making Eli look for her all night. "I'm sorry." She murmured, and Eli brought her into an embrace.

"Don't be sorry for being confused." He whispered, relieved that he had Clare once again. "Let's get you to Morty."

He let go of Clare's waist but intertwined theirs hands as they walked to the car.

Goliah waited for them in the hearse, finally seeing them walk up to the car.

He couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

* * *

**Five more reviews (39 total) and the next chapter of the series goes up.**

**If you listen to "Mama" by My Chemical Romance at the end of this chapter, it actually blends well.**

**Do you guys think that there'll be a little "disagreement" between Goliah and Eli?**

**I think they're might :)**


	8. You Can't Run Away Forever

The car ride to Goliah's house was silent, and Eli curiously watched Goliah enter his house in a hurry. He hadn't even bothered to acknowledge the two after Eli had gotten Clare to come to his house.

Clare breathed out a shaky breath, still trying to take in everything that had happened in such little time. They reached Eli's house as the sun rose, but Clare didn't bother to move.

Eli watched her for a few moments before he believed that she was in shock; she couldn't move because she was still encountering all the emotions that were bottled up for days inside of her.

"Clare," Eli gently said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We're here."

Clare looked over at him, only to nod and exit the hearse. She looked up at the house with a frown set on her expression.

This was her last resort—she had already gone through two households. She didn't know what to think anymore; God had made her life unpredictable. And she didn't like it—she wanted God to let her live a normal life from now on.

Eli grabbed Clare's hand while his other hand held her bag, and he walked her up to the front door, opening it with the kick of his foot.

Eli could tell that Clare was unhappy that she had given in, which made him upset himself. He loved Clare, but couldn't think of what was the best way to help her with her depression.

"My parents should be happy that you're staying with us." He awkwardly chuckled, and Clare gave him a fake smile.

"They're nice." She replied softly, walking to Eli's room. The room didn't have as much clutter as it had the last time she was here; about one third of the room still needed to be cleared out. Clare hoped that he would let her help him so that she would be preoccupied with things other than her life.

Clare looked at the pictures that Eli had on his wall, seeing that most of them were with Adam and Clare. She smiled a genuine smile as she saw her favorite taken at the beach. He had his arms tightly wrapped around her, and they were both laughing about something that he had said.

"That's my favorite too," Eli commented, looking up at the picture that Clare was looking at. Clare took his hand in hers.

"Thanks for letting me stay after all that I had said before." She quietly said, looking down. She was ashamed for how much she had said, hoping that Eli would give up on her.

"Hey now," he said, lifting her chin up. He smirked, saying, "It's the past now; we're living in the present."

Cece walked into Eli's room, slightly surprised that Clare was there. "Clare," she excitedly greeted, walking over to tightly embrace Clare. Clare graciously gave back the invitation.

"Hi Cece," Clare said, smiling up at her.

"Mom, Clare is going to be staying with us for a while." Eli started off, and Cece's eyebrow rose.

"Where do you expect her to sleep?" She mockingly asked, and Eli rolled his eyes; his mother would never stop acting like a child.

"We have the guest room." He pointed out, and then he turned to Clare. "Clare isn't able to… go back home. Some things had happened and she ended up not being safe."

Cece's sympathetic expression came up once again, but the expression she sent Eli made him know that he'd have to fill her in later. "Oh Clare, honey." She said, hugging Clare once again. Clare sniffled. "You're _always_ welcome to stay—you never have to ask."

Clare faked a smile. "Thanks again, Cece." She called out to Cece, who was already exiting the room.

_Only Hope_

The week went on normally, which made Clare more than giddy. She was happy that everything had mended perfectly; her bruises were either gone or slightly yellow, and she could finally wear short sleeved shirts and V necks. Eli also seemed to notice that Clare was getting better, but he hadn't been able to contact Goliah. He had called several times to talk about their situation, but Goliah never seemed to answer.

_The idiot must've lost his phone_, he laughed to himself, shaking his head. Clare walked in, giving him a peck on the lips before asking, "Do you want to finish cleaning your room today?" They only had one part left to do in his room; his desk. The drawers were overflowed, papers sticking out from every direction. Eli nodded, smiling at his girlfriend.

"Yeah, just let me get some more boxes; there's some downtown that I can get and then we can get started."

"Okay," she breathed out a smile, and Eli couldn't help but kiss her again before leaving.

Clare tidied up the living room, grinning like an idiot. She no longer had the pains in her heart, and she seemed to look as if she never had depression before.

Eli's phone vibrated from his coat pocket, and Clare curiously looked at it. She didn't know who would call his cell when they could call the house or her—Cece and Bullfrog had Clare's number which they used more than Eli's.

_Must be Adam_, Clare thought before retrieving the phone. She looked at the front to see that the call was not Adam, but Goliah.

Clare hesitated to answer the phone; it was none of her business to take calls on Eli's cell phone, but what if Goliah was in trouble? What if he needed immediate help? He hadn't called Eli for a week.

Clare opened the phone. "Hello?" She asked softly.

"Clare?" Goliah asked, upset. Clare's eyebrows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "Eli just left and forgot his phone; you know, he's been trying to call you for a week."

Goliah loudly sighed on the other line. "I lost my phone." He told her.

"That's a lie, Goliah, and I know it." The other end went silent, but Clare continued to talk into the phone. "Goliah, you can trust me; I'm always here to help you."

"Well I don't need help," Goliah hatefully said. "I just need to talk to my cousin."

Clare took a deep breath in, about to answer him when their was a knock at the door.

"Give me a second," Clare said, and walked to the door.

She wished that she hadn't opened the door, because in front of her stood her own father, looking like the king of hell himself.

"Clare." He said in a monotone voice, but Clare knew that voice. That was the voice that she had grown used to when he was _really_ angry with her.

"Who's that?" Goliah asked from the other end.

Clare couldn't think straight as her eyes met her fathers; she hadn't been home for eight days. She should've known that she'd never be able to survive away from her father.

Clare felt her breathing increase, but the only thing she whispered in the phone, as comprehensible as she could, was, "Help."

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**5 more reviews (55 total) and we see what happens to Clare.**

**How do you guys think Goliah will help her-or will he _not_ help her? The suspense may just kill myself.**

**And if you have any questions about the story, please ask; I'll try and answer them ;)**


	9. What Have You Done?

Goliah's voice became frantic over the phone, but Clare's father slapped it out of her hand, noisily falling to the floor.

Clare closed her eyes, letting the tears fall. She knew what was coming; it seemed to always repeat. But instead, this time she had an advantage—she knew the house's floor plans, giving her access to all the exits of the house.

She opened her eyes hastily and sharply turned back into the house, throwing things off the tables as she went by to make it harder for him to catch her.

"Clare!" He father called out to her, but Clare kept on running. If God loved her, He would help her escape.

Clare could feel her anger eating at her since she had had a taste of freedom for more than twelve hours. And she didn't _want_ to lose her freedom; it was like her father's alcohol addiction. Once you get it, you can't stop but want more of it.

"No!" She shouted back at her father, still running. She tripped up the stairs but managed to recover before her father caught her. A hand grabbed her ankle at the last step to the second floor, but Clare didn't give up. "Let go of me!" She yelled, struggling with her father's grasp on her ankle.

"You have to come home, Clare!" He retorted, struggling with keeping his grip. "You don't know how scary it was to not know where you were! I missed you!"

Clare choked on a cry. "You never miss me; you only hurt me!" Her father's eyes widened, but in a different way. It was like he didn't have a clue what he had done to Clare.

His grasp dropped and Clare crawled back upstairs, a shocked and hated expression on her face. She didn't know whether to hide or to tell him off.

"What? I never beat you." He asked in a saddened voice. His eyes drifted off.

"Yes you did," she replied coldly.

Her father looked frightened as he looked at Clare. "Why are you saying this, Clare? Do you need help?"

Clare looked in awe at her father. "I _know_ what you did to me! You physically abused me every night while you were drunk! I won't ever forget that!" She felt hot tears fall down her cheeks, but she didn't care. She knew that she was telling the truth.

Her father shook his head. "Clare, you need help—I never hurt you." He took a step up but Clare nearly growled at him, sending his hands up in defeat. "You aren't going to get better if we don't get you help."

Clare cried, "I don't need your help; and I don't need help—my life has been better since I've moved out!"

Clare's father looked at her with a sad expression. "This is what happens when divorce is finalized I guess," he muttered to himself, making sure that Clare would hear.

Clare's eyes widened. "This has nothing to do with the divorce! You were hurting me! And I will _never_ come back home; you're a horrible father!" She crawled into Eli's room, wishing that it still had the lock on the door. She opened the door and closed it, leaning against the wood.

She listened as she heard her father retreat from the stairs and to the front door, closing it softly. Clare wiped the tears from her cheeks; her father didn't remember beating her?

Or _was_ she losing her mind? Clare could've obviously felt hurt because of her parents' divorce, making her cry out for help by lying.

She brought up her shirt to see no bruises. She gently brought her hand across her belly, feeling no pain.

She looked at herself in awe. "What the _hell_ have I done?" She whispered to herself. She had made it all up—she just wanted attention. She had scarred her father for no reason; she was a horrible person.

"I'm a bad person." She whispered to herself, crawling over to her suitcase, packing all of her items again. She repeated the four words over and over as they became engraved in her memory.

She had ruined her father's life because of her cries for help. She sobbed, feeling only hate towards herself. She was so _desperate_ for attention. She cried as she kicked her suitcase down, all the contents spilling out.

She didn't deserve to live—she had hurt too many people already with all of her lies. She needed to be taught a lesson.

Clare didn't bother to take her bag; she exited the house in a slow manner. The words still replayed on her lips, not letting her for one second forget how bad she was.

She wandered over to her house, looking up at it. She squinted her eyes as she tried to hold back the tears, holding her hands over her eyes. She couldn't even look at anything that was familiar to her—she needed to get far away.

She walked to the bus station, sitting down on the chilly bench. She wrapped her arms protectively around her figure, ignoring her cell phone in her pocket. She was a bad person; she needed to start anew. But what if it didn't work out as planned? What if she ended up hurting everyone _more_?

Clare blinked out her indecision as the bus came to a stop in front of her; she _needed_ to get away from everyone.

And more importantly, herself.

* * *

**I apologize for not updating yesterday after the reviews went up; it's been a _long_ two days for me.**

**I also need to update _Vacation!_ because it's due to be updated, so the next chapter for _this_ story will probably be up once I get that chapter done.**

**By the way, Goliah didn't have enough time to get to the house; that's why he didn't "save her", although she didn't need saving from her father.**

**Five more reviews (67 total) and we see what the hell Clare is doing. And who do we think is calling Clare? ;)**


	10. Meet My Friend

Clare sat on the bus, staring out in space. She couldn't help but think of how much she wanted to believe what her father said, but she knew that she wasn't losing her mind. He _was_ abusing her, and there _had_ been bruises covering her body the week before.

Her father was smarter than she had thought; bruises usually disappeared in less than a week. He had planned it perfectly to make sure that Clare would be utterly confused, but he didn't assume that she would disappear again. He was sure that Clare would come home to apologize for something she hadn't lied about.

Clare shook her head, taking her phone out of her pocket. She looked at it a few times before chucking it into the garbage can that was placed in the front of the bus. A few older passengers watched her, but none spoke up to ask her anything.

Clare knew that she should've been reassuring Eli and Goliah that everything was okay, but she couldn't face them. She knew that if she talked to either one of them, she would automatically start crying. And she wouldn't be able to stop—the entire trauma that was in her life was sending her down a spiraling course that would never end up well.

She sniffled, but no tears dared to fall. The bus driver announced something over the speaker, but Clare hadn't been paying attention. As she curiously looked outside of the bus, she recognized that this was her destination.

_Only Hope_

Getting off with several other passengers, she made her was through the familiar town, walking down to her grandmother's small cottage. She smiled up at it as she found it down the road, and quickened her pace.

Crawling under the yellow tape and opening the door, she walked into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch that she had grown so familiar to. She inhaled the scent of her grandmother's perfume, intoxicating her.

"Hi grams," she said, and the house remained silent. But Clare knew that her grandmother's presence was before her; she could feel it.

Clare breathed out a shaky breath. "I wish that I could talk to you." She quietly said, looking down at her hands. "It's been so hard—to live without you. Life just seems to get harder as the days go by."

Clare stifled back a cry. "If you haven't been watching over me, my father has been beating me—or at least I think so. But now he's telling me that he never abused me, and I can't help but think that he's lying. I had the bruises to prove it, but now they are no longer there." She fought herself back, forcing herself to ask, "Am I going insane?" Her voice broke, but she couldn't help it—she didn't want to live a fake life. She had known that her father had something to do with her depression, and she knew that her father was lying.

But her father was so damn convincing when she was so vulnerable at the sight of him.

A sudden gust of cold air came into the room, and Clare could faintly hear, _"No."_

Clare shook her head. "I don't know what to think of anymore; I have ruined my life _and_ several of the ones I love—have I gotten my consequences yet?"

A warm tear fell down from her glazed over eyes. The faint voice told her, _"Don't fear what you don't see before you. Life gets better."_

Clare choked on a hard laugh. "If life got better, then _that_ wouldn't have happened to you while I was here." She shook her head in disbelief. "I might as well kill myself," she muttered, and she saw in front of her a porcelain vase be thrown off the coffee table. Clare's eyes widened at the sight.

"_You're life has already been chosen, and I _know_ that it will get better. You just have to breathe."_

Clare, still shocked, nodded, trembling on the couch that she sat on. A sudden memory came up to mind.

"_Grams," Clare said, sitting down next to her grandmother. Her grandmother smiled at her brightly. "Can we talk?"_

_Her grandmother softly nodded, her expression never faltering. Clare looked down at her hands before she could meet eye to eye with her grandmother._

"_I've been having some issues at school; before break, to be exact." She looked for something in her grandmother that would egg her on, but she just seemed to stare. Clare looked away. "I have a boyfriend, and he seems to like to stand up to bullies. The day before I left, there was a dance at Degrassi, and in order for my boyfriend not to get hurt I would have to go with the bully. So I did and-" She looked up into her grandmother's eyes and felt the tears coming. "And I almost lost my boyfriend that night." A tear fell down her cheek, and her grandmother embraced her._

_She brought up Clare's chin and looked her sternly in the eyes, saying, "True love will conquer anything in its path. What you have is special; not many people find their significant other. And yet, you have that gift, and you should grasp onto it for your life. Because if you don't, you'll never find it again."_

_Within a minute of her grandmother leaving the room, Clare thought on the couch about how to make things right once break was over. And she couldn't think that her grandmother was more on the target. _

Clare, somewhat dazed, couldn't fight the next memory that her grandma showed her. The one that she dreaded.

"_Don't worry, Clare." Grams said, and Clare couldn't believe her. "I know that it's dark out, but nothing is going to happen—I live in a _very_ safe town."_

_Although Clare didn't believe her, she followed to make sure that her grandmother would get home safely. "Grams, I think we should've taken your car." She states cautiously, behind her grandmother._

_Her grandmother laughed. "Don't talk nonsense, __Clare! Nothing will happen."_

_Clare had never heard her grandmother talk like this. Not once did her favorite relative repeat her words in one day, or at least not in front of Clare. Clare took a deep breath in._

_It was nearing midnight as they continued to walk to her house, and once they got to the front door Clare was relieved—maybe her grandmother was just having an off day._

"_I'm going to my room, Grams. Goodnight." With that she kissed her grandmother's cheek before jogging upstairs._

Clare gripped onto the arm of the couch as she couldn't stop the replay, feeling herself plead to her grandmother to not go any further with it.

_The next morning, Clare walked down to an awfully silent household; she could not find her grandmother anywhere in the house, and she knew that it was unusual for her to leave without warning Clare._

_Clare curiously walked to the study room, her breath hitching in her throat. There before her sat her grandmother, but Clare knew that she wasn't alive. Her white shirt was now a dark red, and Clare couldn't do anything but stare at her. She couldn't do anything but feel helpless. And feel like she could've said something the night before._

Clare shook the tears out of her eyes, making them fall down her cheeks. "I could've saved you!" She cried, holding her hands into her head.

She felt a cool presence on her shoulder, reassuring her. _"You couldn't have, and you'll understand why later. For now, I want you to meet my friend."_

Clare shook her head. "It won't help me, Grams." She muttered under her breath, looking up from her hands. But in front of her stood what she believed was her grandmother's friend; another spirit, but one she could actually see.

The girl seemed to be a teenager, with dark brown hair and blue eyes like Clare's. The girl gave her a small smile, but Clare was about to protest.

"I know what you're going through," She said softly before Clare could argue, walking through the table and to the window. "I was going through the same thing before I passed."

Clare snorted. "So this means I'm going to die?" She asked rhetorically. The girl shook her head, turning to Clare to give her the most serious expression she had ever seen in her life.

"This means I'm going to save you."

* * *

**Agggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh**

**I warn you that you seriously don't want to know how Grams died, but it'll come up later.**

**Five more reviews (76 total) and we see who this "girl" is that is going to help Clare.**

**Do we have any ideas as to who it is? :)**


	11. We Need Each Other

Clare remained with the spirit for about a day before she was able to take everything in from the start of her father's beatings to the encounter of the girl. She didn't want to bother her and ask how she died, but she couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Can I ask you something?" Clare asked, her blue eyes burning with curiosity. The girl laughed but nodded.

"What is it that I may be able to help you with?" She asked, and Clare couldn't help but feel jealous at how perfect her voice was. She looked away before the spirit could notice her jealousy.

"How is it that you died?" She quietly muttered, looking down at her hands.

"Nice way of keeping it low-key." She laughed, but her laughter quickly died down as she too, looked down. "I was angry at my boyfriend, and ended up going home. I had taken my bike, and before I knew it it was too dark for me to see anything. I couldn't decide whether or not to stop before I got hit by a drunk driver."

Clare's eyebrows furrowed; the story sounded too familiar. "My boyfriend had that exact same experience." She told the girl, scratching her scalp.

The girl's piercing laugh entered Clare's mind. "Put the pieces together Clare, and you'll see that it's a small world that you live in."

Clare was oblivious before her eyes widened. "That means you're-"

"Julia?" The girl asked. "Yes, I am Julia. And that's why I am going to help you."

"Isn't this going to be weird, then?" Clare asked, and Julia shook her head.

"I'm glad that he's moved on—it's better for him to. Plus," She added, smiling towards Clare. "He has a good girlfriend."

Clare blushed internally, but smiled back to Julia. She was glad that Julia was over her relationship with Eli. "But you may want to keep a close eye on Goliah."

Clare's smile turned into a frown. "Why is that?" She asked, oblivious.

Julia shrugged. "He's been a little too comfortable around you recently—I think he likes you."

Clare shook her head hastily. "Why the hell would he like me?" She quickly asked, her fear showing thoroughly.

"Because you were showing signs that you liked him." Julia accused, her voice no longer welcoming as it had been.

"I didn't mean to give him the wrong impression." Clare defended herself. "I was upset at the time—Eli didn't understand why I was so… distant. So scared to be around him before. He made assumptions of his _girlfriend_—something that I obviously did not need."

Julia shook her head, her eyes closing slightly. "You didn't understand that Eli couldn't understand why the hell you were so distant! He loves you too much to lose you!"

Clare's eyes widened. "I've told him several times that I love him and I haven't even heard it _once_ from his mouth!" She exclaimed, getting up from the couch. "I don't need this crap, Julia; I'm leaving."

"Wait! Clare!" Julia followed, going through the door that Clare had harshly shut. Clare pulled on her hair as she walked away from the house. "Clare!" Julia called out again. Clare turned, one house away from her grandmother's.

"What?" She screamed, looking back at Julia. Innocent bystanders seemed startled by Clare's outburst to no one. "What can you possibly do that'll save me? I've already ruined my life—I just want to die!"

"Don't you ever wonder who killed your grandmother?" Clare stopped in her tracks, her breathing caught in her chest. "_Why_ they killed her?"

Clare turned around. "It was an incident." She coldly stated.

Julia shook her head. "Murder is never an incident." She roughly said, her eyes disgusted with what the police had told her. "Murder is something called 'revenge'."

"Who would want revenge towards my grandmother?" Clare asked, her hands balled into fists.

Julia stood still. "Maybe the better question is 'who would want revenge towards _you_, but got the wrong person'?"

Clare gaped at Julia, shaking her head in fear. "No one would want to kill me." She assured herself, about to turn to walk away. But Julia stopped her in her tracks.

"Maybe it's someone you know; maybe someone that you've had a close incident with?"

Clare's eyes widened. "I've only had one-"

"And supposedly he's in jail." Julia sarcastically remarked, placing her hands on her hips. "Do you understand what I'm trying to get past you?"

Clare nodded, slightly stunned. "But he can't be out of jail; when my grandmother died, he was already _in_ jail."

Julia nodded. "Yes, he was on his way to his cell, but he got out before they were able to hold him captive. Ended up killing two officers."

Clare's eyes were glazed over, but her voice stayed curious. "Where is he now?" She asked, and Julia looked regretful.

Julia stated softly, "He's here—checking on the house we were in. He's been watching us for the past day."

Clare looked at Julia in betrayal. "And you didn't even have the guts to tell me?" She accused, walking away from the spirit.

"If I told you," She loudly stated to make sure Clare would hear. "Then he would've killed you—I'm stuck to the house, Clare; I can't follow you anymore. He has kept me here ever since your grandmother died."

Clare looked over at Julia with tears about to fall from her eyes. "How could he possibly do that?"

"Fitzgerald is smarter than you think he is." She stated, looking down at her shoes. "And I need you to help me as I need to help you."

Clare looked at her with sincerity before her fear seeped in. "How do I know that I'll be safe from him?" Clare fearfully asked.

"He's not trying to get revenge on you yet—it's just that I can't fight him off later on when he _wants_ his revenge. Only you can."

Clare looked at her with wary eyes. "I'm not one to win a fight." She said.

"No, you aren't." Julia stated, struggling to move closer to Clare. "But I know more about him than anyone else." Her mischievous grin appeared. "And one of those things is his weak points."

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**5 more reviews (95 total) and we see how Clare and Julia get back at Fitz, or if it all goes wrong.**

**And don't worry; you'll be seeing a lot more lovey dovey fluff later on :)**

**Is there anything that any of your are confused about? Because if there is, I can fill you in.**


	12. Screwing Up Everything

Clare's hands were balled into fists as she walked back to the house as casually as possible. It was strange to know that there was someone watching her, and that person being _Fitz_ made it even worse. Clare would never admit it, but Fitzgerald was her worst fear—and standing up to the murderer sooner or later made it almost sound like a death sentence to her.

She needed help. She couldn't fight him off alone, but she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to drag any loved ones into one of her chosen battles.

And she couldn't admit it either, but if either Eli or Goliah got hurt, she would most likely become suicidal. She found both of the boys in her safe haven, and appreciated all they had done for her. But she would not let one of them die for her.

The house was quiet, but there was a different atmosphere. Clare was both angry and scared, but had to hide it. Julia gave her a knowing glance as she watched Clare come into the living room, and she got up from the chair she had been sitting in.

"Back to stay?" Julia said in a hurt tone.

Clare nodded. "I'm sorry for running out before; it's just that my life is more complicated than you think."

Julia smiled softly before winking her right eye which was facing the staircase. Clare could understand that Julia knew where Fitzgerald was watching, so she went with it.

Clare and Julia watched movies for several hours, making sure to be very boring. Three hours into the movie, Julia's frame loosened.

"He left." She stated, watching Clare relax into the couch.

"Thank God." Clare muttered under her breath, rubbing her face. "I didn't think he was every going to leave."

Julia chuckled. "He didn't stay this long yesterday." Julia sighed as she brought herself from the couch. "I guess he saw your outburst earlier." Clare grimaced at the thought, and before she could apologize Julia put a hand up. "You're forgiven; it wasn't all you fault. Everyone comes to their boiling point."

Clare looked down at the TV before looking down at the floor. "Do you know how I am going to fight him off?" She said in a weak voice, and Julia matched her expression as she thought about it.

She shook her head. "I don't have much figured out," Julia replied. "But we have more time than you think—he'll only start what he wants when he sees a familiar boy we both know."

Clare looked up at Julia, her eyes glazed. "Eli?" She tried to say, but couldn't get her voice to cooperate. Julia nodded gravely.

"He doesn't want to hurt _you_," Julia stated, making Clare somewhat relax again. "But if he can't get Eli to come here soon enough, then he'll take you as a slave."

Clare's eyes widened before she shot up from the couch. "I'm leaving!" She stated, reaching the staircase.

Julia groaned before pulling at her hair. "You can't just get up and leave! If—if you do then you won't have me here! Take the opportunity you have now to get information out of me! I'm—I'm not going to be here forever!"

Clare froze to turn around on the stair that she was standing on, meeting her with confused blue eyes. "What do you mean?" She said in a whisper.

Julia shook her head. "I'm part of _this_, Clare." Clare could see that through Julia's eyes, she was telling the horrid truth. "I am one of the reasons why you were attracted to coming to this house. He's got me in all of these… these _chains_ so that he can get the revenge he wants. And if I don't agree, then I won't be here. He'll send me straight to heaven, or _hell_, whichever is meant for me. And I don't want to go until my time has come!"

Clare shook her head, debating. "But you can go to heaven once you die unless-"

"You commit suicide." She finished, looking at Clare. Clare shook her head.

"You wouldn't do that to Eli-"

"He meant everything to me, Clare!" Julia shouted. "To know that he broke up with me it—it made me mad! He was the _only_ thing keeping me here! I didn't have any family! I thought it would be better if I could just—just _disappear_ from this world, but now I'm _damn_ stuck because Fitz had found me!" Tears cascaded down Julia's face, but she didn't bother to discard them.

Julia pulled at her long, brown hair once again, looking back up at Clare with panic stricken eyes. "I owe Fitz for giving me a proper burial. For calling the cops to tell them that I was there in the street. I owe him," she whispered. "And until I get what he wishes, then I'm stuck here."

Clare shook her head, walking slowly down the stairs. "Eli said that he had found you, though." Clare retorted, stopping a foot away from Julia. "He said that he saw the whole thing."

Julia shook his head. "He _saw_ it, but it was too much to handle. He thought that _he_ had killed me; he wanted a reason not to see his ex girlfriend dead in the road."

Clare grimaced. "Then why do you still… still help him?" She asked cautiously.

Julia looked up at her with a sad smile. "Because even though that he wasn't always there for me, I want to be different. I want him to know that he always has someone to lean on, even if they aren't alive."

"You really do love him," Clare whispered, not able to look Julia in the eyes.

Julia nodded. "It was forbidden though," she started off. "We both wanted different things. He wanted kids, and I didn't want to get fat just to have them." She laughed lightly as she thought about Eli, but then returned her attention back to Clare. "I'm sorry," she said, embracing Clare into a hug. Clare felt like she was hugging air, but could still feel the embrace. And it oddly made her feel comforted. "I'm sorry that you're a part of this, but you _need_ to hear everything from me, and now."

Clare pulled away from Julia to make sure that she was positive that she wanted to talk about it. "Okay," she softly said, a smile placed lightly onto her lips.

_Only Hope_

"So I'm stuck with Fitzgerald because I owe him for what he did for me," Julia repeated from earlier, making sure that Clare understood. Julia sat across from Clare, looking gravely into her eyes. "And he didn't tell me for a few weeks. He didn't have anything that he really needed, other than drugs or hook ups, but he said that those weren't important enough."

Clare took her mug lightly into her hands, taking in the warmth they spread onto her hands. "But then," Julia's voice broke, but she continued to fight with herself. "He said that he had the perfect idea. He was angered at the time, saying that he had just gotten out of jail. He said that it was time for the 'emo boy' to get what was coming. I didn't know what he meant at first, but then he said that he was in _love_." Julia looked over at Clare, who was wide eyed.

"He said that the boy had taken the girl away from him, and that he deserved to get it. The pain that he had had during his time in prison. So he wished for me to contact the girl through my mind." Julia's teary eyes looked up into Clare's before looking guiltily down at the table. "I only did it once to make sure that he wouldn't go out after you two, but I still prayed that you would stay away. But then, here you come, talking to your grandmother. Once I saw you—I knew. I knew who you were, and I wanted you to run. Far away.

"I got in contact with your grandmother several times when Fitz left the house, and after multiple conversations we decided that we were going to help you. That I needed to turn things around for my causes of being selfish.

"When you came, you were lucky; Fitz had already left for the day. He said that it was getting boring, sitting around waiting for revenge. So when you came, and you summoned your grandmother to talk to you, she decided that then was the time to meet you. To tell you that I was going to save you."

Julia looked over a Clare, who was still holding her warm mug in her hands. "And I plan on saving you; I'm damn sure about it. I'm going to get you out of what I created, out of the monster that I have become. And when I _do_ save you, I'll be able to live in peace. Fitz's deal will be out of the water."

Clare nodded. "You're forgiven," She said in a monotone voice. Julia looked up at her with hope in her eyes. "Because I know that it's hard. It's hard to hear that you are forced to do something, but it's even harder to go back and fix it." Clare's blue eyes became focused on Julia's expression, making sure that she was understanding her.

The doorbell rang, making Julia groan, pulling her face into her elbow. Clare's eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong?" She asked, but Julia didn't answer her.

Clare got up from her seat, mug in her hands, and walked to the door to open it.

She looked up at the familiar Goliah.

"Wh-" was what came out of Clare's lips before Goliah kissed her forcefully, pushing them into the house.

Her mug had gone cold.

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**I'm sorry for my hiatus :(**

**5 more reviews (112 total) and we see what happens :D**

**And if you have _any_ free time, please check out my newest story, _To The End_-don't worry; I already finished it, so now I can update this one more frequently!**


	13. The Problem With Love

Clare fiercely shook her head, not able to get out of Goliah's grasp. She finally dropped her mug, pushing him outside.

"What the _hell_ was that, Goliah?" She screamed, still partially stunned from his sudden appearance. Goliah scratched his scalp.

He shrugged once he regained his balance. "I don't know," he smirked, but it wasn't a kind gesture to Clare. Clare had an urge to slap him right then and there.

"Leave." She sternly growled, scaring herself. She didn't know that she had changed.

Goliah shook his head. "Nah," he stated, crossing his arms.

"You have to leave." She fearfully told him, her eyes growing bigger. He didn't understand that he could be dead in a second if Fitz came back.

"Why should I?" He argued, making his way into the house. Clare sighed in frustration, closing the door. She looked for Julia, but couldn't see her. Goliah was obviously confused. "Why are you even here?" He asked her, looking around the room. The smell was still of vacancy.

He turned to Clare, who was leaning against the end of the staircase. "Well?" He egged her on.

"I have nothing to say about it." She honestly said. "I got scared at Eli's and decided-"

"That it was best to suddenly disappear?" He questioned. Clare shook her head.

"There's a different reason than you think." She defended herself. "You don't know the half of why I'm here, and I'm not sure if I even want to tell you."

"If I can't get it out of you," Goliah warned. "Then I know someone who can."

Clare shook her head. "Don't bring him here." She pleaded in a whisper.

Goliah brought his hands up. "What am I supposed to do to get you to answer me? If I need Eli for it, then I'll get him here ASAP."

"And then I can tell him that you kissed me." Clare growled. Goliah's face fell, but not enough for Clare to feel sympathetic. "Why did you even do it?"

Goliah looked down at the floor. "You know why, Clare!" He whined. "I like you! You like me too, since you _were_ showing the signs of it."

Clare rolled her eyes. "Sorry for the misinterpretations." She sarcastically said, crossing her arms. Goliah glared at her.

"You see what I don't understand about you? One second you're so _flirty_ and then the next you're grouchy. It's like your bipolar or something!" Goliah groaned to himself as he took a seat.

Clare still remained where she was. "Maybe I am." She retorted. Her blue eyes were becoming more animal like, as if he turned her into a monster when he was around. "I'll admit it, I liked you for a while, but now, I just care about you. If you don't remember, your _cousin_, Eli, is my boyfriend!"

Goliah rolled his eyes. "You're pathetic, Clare." He got up from his seat, hastily making his way up to Clare. "Maybe I should tell Eli how you were flirting with me, too! Then we _both_ could live in misery!"

Clare groaned. "He's gonna find out sometime, Goliah. We both did something bad."

Goliah shook his head. "No," he argued softly. "No—I didn't do _anything_ wrong. I didn't know that you were dating my cousin. I didn't know that you were dating someone! You played me, and therefore, _you_ are the one who did the wrongs in this."

Clare looked down at the floor. "No I didn't." she almost whispered.

"You did!" Goliah argued. "Admit it, Clare, just admit it; you cheated on your boyfriend with his cousin."

"I didn't!" She yelled. "We were _this_ close to kissing, but I stopped myself! You were the one who kissed _me_! I pulled away!" Tears were starting to fall down her cheeks, but she didn't notice.

Goliah looked at her in pain. "It's not my fault that now there are two boys who are devoted to you; that's your problem. And it's not any easier since we're _cousins_—you're screwed. I'll tell Eli if you don't."

Clare, heartbroken, walked up half of the stairs before saying, "Go ahead." Her voice barely came out into a whisper, but it was loud enough for Goliah to hear. "Go and tell him; just don't ever bother coming back."

She could hear Goliah sighing to himself downstairs, but she continued to go up to her new room. Lying down on the bed, she cried silently to herself, letting sleep overwhelm her once she was out of tears.

_Only Hope_

Goliah got into his car quicker than he expected, but he was frustrated. He loved a girl who was stuck between him and his cousin; what luck they had. The only thing that was worrying Goliah now was what Eli would think once he told him.

Or should he keep it a secret? Should he just act like he didn't find Clare, or would it hurt him worse in the outcome?

Goliah reached his house, being greeted by a panic stricken Eli. Eli jumped off the chair in a second, coming to see his cousin.

"Anything?" He pleaded, his eyes teary. Goliah thought for a second.

Decision time.

He shook his head. "I couldn't find her," he stated, and Eli's face fell. "But Eli, I really need to talk to you—it's about Clare."

Eli looked at him with wide eyes. "Please tell me this is good news?"

Goliah hesitated before shaking his head. "It's not, and you're not going to be happy when I tell you." He took in a deep breath, trying not to look at his cousin in the eyes. "I like Clare," he admitted, squinting his eyes shut.

Eli was silent, making Goliah worry. Opening an eye, he saw the hurt expression his cousin had. He opened his mouth to say something but Eli was the first to speak. "How long?" He said through a locked jaw.

Goliah looked down again. "Since I met her."

Another engulfed silence. "You know where she is." Eli accused.

Goliah looked into Eli's eyes, only to see that he couldn't lie to him anymore. He nodded his head.

Eli looked at his cousin in disgust. "Tomorrow," he started. "You are going to take me to _that_ place, wherever it may be. And you _will_ help me get her back."

Goliah looked at him in pain and sorrow, but he nodded his head once again. He was about to say something, but his mouth was clamped shut. Without another word, Eli stomped up the stairs and to his room, the one which Clare had been in. Eli looked in the room, still able to smell the scent of his girlfriend. The tears started to fall, but he didn't care. Until he had Clare back in his arms, he wouldn't be able to sleep.

_Only Hope_

Eli had insomnia for the night, but didn't care. He kept an eye out on Goliah's room, making sure that his door never opened suddenly. He was _going_ to make Goliah help him.

During the night, Eli thought about what his cousin had told him. _"I like Clare,"_ was the sentence that replayed in his mind. Did that mean that Clare liked him, _too_? He could only hope not; he would never be able to love a girl who loved two boys at the same time.

It would be too heartbreaking. He only wanted Clare to love _him_.

Nearing eight o'clock, Goliah's door swung open. Goliah didn't take much time to get ready, since he knew that Eli was watching him. And it scared him to think about what Eli would do if he took too long.

"Let's go," Goliah softly spoke, grabbing his keys from the coffee table. Eli followed a foot behind his cousin, mute. He didn't have anything to say to him.

Goliah's hands slightly shook as he drove, but it wasn't because he was afraid—Clare had told him not to bring Eli to the house. It might've been a secret message, for all he had known. But if Eli didn't get to Clare, then Goliah would most likely be on the death list.

Goliah was nearing the old house, but had to pull over several times so that fire engines could go past. "What the hell is going on?" He muttered to himself, waiting for all the cars to go past him. It was almost like a never ending chain.

Once he got onto the road again, he was forced to stop. The road was blocked, which meant that the house Clare was in was also blocked. He didn't bother turning off the car, but jumped out and ran to Clare's house.

Eli, slightly annoyed with his cousin's ignorance, turned off the car and stalked over to where Goliah was going, to see why the road was blocked. One of the local houses was on fire, flames engulfing the two houses next to it.

The police told him not to go any further, and several were chasing Goliah. Eli watched curiously as Goliah was brought back to him, but his face was distraught. "You have to let me go!" He shouted, kicking his legs like a little girl. "There's someone in that house!"

He pointed to the house, and Eli could feel his heart stop beating. He could most definitely feel that Clare was in that house.

He stood where he was for about two hours, until one of the firemen jogged up to a police officer. Eli curiously listened in on their conversation.

"We looked through all three of the houses," he said, partly panting. "They're all clear; no people."

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**Okay,**

**Some of my readers have been getting confused on the last chapter; to be more specific, the Julia parts. Fitz found Julia after she committed suicide (going in front of a car), and then gave her a proper burial. To pay him _back_ for the gesture (so she can go to heaven _earlier_), Fitz decides that he wants her to help him with his revenge on Eli. He wants Clare to become attracted to her grandmother's house, so that his plan will be in effect. If Eli doesn't show, then he'll keep Clare captive. But what Fitz doesn't know is that if Julia fixes the mess that she has created, then she will go to heaven earlier, without completing Fitz's wish. Julia just wants to go to heaven, basically.**

**Comprendes-tu? :)**

**_7_ more reviews (124 total) and we get Clare's POV _before_ and after the last scene.**


	14. Sweetie

Clare awoke to the pain of her wrists protesting the heavy rope that attached the two together behind her back. Her eyes opened in a half second, looking at her surroundings in confusion.

"God _damn_ it," she muttered under her breath, attempting to free her hands. A cold hand from the back of her soothingly stopped her protests, and her breathing became louder.

She looked across the room to see Julia watching her with a pained expression. "I'm sorry," she mouthed, but Clare didn't care. Julia wasn't going to help her anymore.

"If you calm down, then it'll be less painful." Fitz soothingly said, but Clare couldn't feel her mind calm. Her mind was busily making a plan on how to get out of here as fast as she possibly could.

"I knew it was you," she stated, not bothering to keep her voice down. "I knew when I saw that _fire_ that it was you."

Fitz heavily laughed, coming to the other side of Clare too look her in the eye. "You're a smart kid, but not smart enough to get away." Fitz smiled mischievously at Clare before getting up from his crouched position. "Emo boy was taking too long," he said, his feet dragging underneath him with every step he took. Clare looked up at him expectantly. "I figured, 'why not do it now?' So I did, and here we are." He grinned before Clare rolled her eyes.

"I don't find your story amusing." She replied, glaring at Julia. "And I thought Julia was stuck to my grandmother's house."

Fitz's face changed into thoughtfulness before he laughed. "I can take her anywhere I want to; as long as I have _this_," he pulled out a small stone from his pocket, putting it in front of Clare's face so she could see it.

"What is it?" Clare asked dully.

Fitz shook his head. "It's what she was wearing the night of the accident; a stone that Eli had given her on their one year anniversary. It supposedly would 'keep them together' even when they were far apart. Guess it still works after death."

Clare looked up at him in disgust. "You are a sick person, Fitz."

Fitz nodded as he chuckled. "I know," he bemused.

Clare looked up at Julia again, seeing that her expression didn't change. She was starting to get aggravated at the ghost, since she wasn't doing anything to help her.

"What do you plan on doing with me?" Clare asked as Julia's eyes widened. Julia tried telling her to stop without talking, but before she could the question was already asked. Fitz turned around to smirk at Clare, but it wasn't the smirk that she had fallen in love with; the one that Eli had.

"I have many plans," he quietly said. Clare looked up at him in boredom. "But for now, you're just going to stay here. No food, no water; you're just going to be a prisoner for some time."

Clare looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. "What happens when I die?" She asked.

Fitz shook his head. "No one will know. I'll bury you myself, to make sure that no one finds you. But before you _do_ die," he said, going through what sounded like a desk. "I want you to write a letter to little emo boy. One that I'm going to _send_ him, and if it gives out information, you're dying without a trace, sweetie."

Clare looked up at him for a long second before spitting in his face. "I was meaning to do that a long time ago," she casually said, watching Fitz rub his eyes in disgust. "But I never got to—you know, jail and stuff"

Fitz angrily looked at her before kicking her in the side. Clare didn't care anymore; she knew that this was going to happen. She knew that if it happened to her, it would be better. If it happened to anyone who was of any value to _her_, then she would break. She would feel all of the pain that she had been bottling up for months.

Fitz went in back of her once again, doing something to her right hand. She squirmed slightly at first, but then she acknowledged that he was letting one of her hands lose so she could write to Eli.

With a final pull of the rope, her hand was free, but she didn't dare move it suddenly. Fitz retrieved a pen a paper for her.

"You can think all you want about what to write," he softly said, not looking her in the eye. "But just remember; you're life is timed now. If you take too long, then you might not finish it."

Clare looked down at the paper that Fitz lazily tossed onto her lap. This was the last thing that would show her existence to the world. She was a prisoner now.

The thought finally frightened her; she was no longer able to see what the outside looked like. Instead, all her surroundings were revealed with the dimmest light in the center of the room. It looked like a shack in a way; the wooden walls were open in places, showing the bright sun from outside.

Fitz left through a door which was led by a staircase to the outside. She saw a bright mass of light before the darkness took over once again, the small light flickering. Clare glared in Julia's direction. "You better tell me a damn plan for this, Julia."

Julia looked at her with confusion. "I don't owe you anything, Clare." She replied.

Clare's eyes widened. "So you _lied_ to me?" She stated, making sure that it was clear that she had the truth. Julia's face hardened, but she nodded. Clare knew that something was off about her. "What the hell is up with you?" Clare asked.

Julia shook her head. "Right now, it's you." She growled.

"I thought you were my friend," Clare sarcastically retorted. "But by my surroundings, I guess we're BFFs."

Julia rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "I had no other choice, Clare." She stated.

"Yes you did, Julia." Clare said, her anger more pronounced. "You were able to go to heaven just by _reversing_ what you did to Eli and me, but you really wanted the hard way, didn't you? I trusted you!"

Julia's face went back to pained. "Clare," she replied, her voice calmed. "I know the outcome of _this_, and it's better than the one that you were going to have."

Clare rolled her eyes. "Haven't you said something like this before to me?" She asked, and Julia raised her hands in frustration.

"Yes! I have! But things can change within a second; you just have to learn to trust me."

"You weren't there for me when Goliah showed up at the house." Clare pointed out. "Where were you?"

Julia's expression darkened. "Fitz already had me. Once he knew that Goliah was out of the house, he went for it. He obviously saw the relation between him and Eli."

Clare looked down. "Just leave, Julia. I'm done talking."

Julia sighed deeply before disappearing the same way as Fitz.

Clare raised her head once she heard the door close, tears making their way down her cheeks. "Why?" She asked, looking above her. "Why must my life be filled with dramatic scene after dramatic scene? Can't I have _one_ normal day?"

She fell asleep, but it was nothing worth sleeping for. Last night's memory came back into her mind.

_Clare continued tossing and turning as she thought about Goliah and Eli. She shouldn't have been so harsh to Goliah, but she had to. She couldn't fall in love with Eli's cousin and vise versa._

_The door opened downstairs, and Clare looked in the direction of her bedroom door. She knew that Julia couldn't open doors, and that Goliah hadn't been gone for more than ten minutes. Eli couldn't have gotten there yet._

_She crawled across her bed and to her window, seeing a black van in front of the house. Clare looked curiously at it but jumped away when she heard a loud noise from downstairs._

_Someone was obviously in the house—she wasn't dreaming. But as fast as the noise happened, silence came faster. She looked out her window again, curious of whom it was._

_Her heart froze when she looked at the figure in front of the house, seeing that it was Fitz. She crouched lower, only to reveal her eyes and her hairline. Fitz had a lighter in front of him and her eyebrows furrowed. "What's he doing?" she asked herself, watching curiously as he set the flame to the ground._

_Her eyes widened as much as possible as she saw the tiny flame turn into a fire. The bright red light came over to the house, burning it within seconds. Everything was starting to make sense; Fitz had spread gasoline all over the house. Clare lethargically made her way to the back of her room, opening the window to the backyard. She looked down; it was a two story fall, but there was no other way._

_Jumping, she expected herself to fall onto the patio, her spine instantly breaking. Clare heard a deep grunt above her, feeling a strong grip around her body as Fitz caught her._

"_Yell," he growled. "And you die."_

_

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_

**Seven more reviews (134 total) and the next chapter comes up.**

**And for those thinking of this later on, I _am_ going to end this some day, but there will be a sequel for it; Fitz won't be in it, though :P**


	15. My Only Hope

**HUGE RECAP:**

**Clare's father is beating her-Clare tries keeping this a secret. It hurts her relationship with Eli, and she meets Goliah. She forces herself to tell others that she has been abused by her father.**

**Clare runs away from home. Goliah takes her under his wing. Eli comes over to find his "missing girlfriend", which he later finds out that she was staying there. Clare tries drowning herself, but Eli saves her. Clare stays at Eli's house until her father comes back, claiming that he never laid a hand on her. Deciding that she needs a fresh start, she moves to her dead grandmother's house, where she meets Julia, Eli's dead ex-girlfriend. Julia informs Clare that Fitz is watching everything that Clare does, and that she has to make sure that Eli does NOT come to the house. Goliah comes, and once he leaves, Fitz takes Clare and hides her, lighting the house on fire.**

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Morty's speed was rising dramatically with every second that went by. Eli was so… distraught that he couldn't think right. His mind was filled with useless information that wouldn't disappear.

Marianas Trench blasted from the speakers. Lover Dearest softly started, making Morty's speed drop. Eli's eyes slowly closed, tears carelessly falling out from under his eyelids. He was screwing up all he knew about; he was just running away, once again.

But he couldn't run away—there was still a chance that he would get to Clare before she died… he just had to think logically. He turned a right, leading him off to a dead end, displaying the river that Clare once attempted to drown herself in. He had saved her; he had a reason for living.

He turned off Morty, walking over to the edge. The river didn't look scary anymore, which was strange. Eli grew up around the river, seeing all the reports on how many people died from the river. A shiver went up his spine as his eyes darted across the river to see a paled figure.

Looking more closely, he saw that it was Clare. "Clare!" He shouted with all of the breath he had. Clare didn't move an inch; Eli hesitantly walked back and fourth around the edge. He didn't know what to do.

Eli kept calling out her name, hoping that she'd notice him. What would happen when she did, though? She obviously couldn't go across the river—the bridge to the other side was known for holding all the ghettos and whatnot. That was the only thing that had ever scared Eli.

He looked at Clare once again to see her raising her hand, something flying out when she released her grasp. Eli's eyes widened, but he could not decipher what she had dropped. In little time, Clare was out of sight again. "Clare!" He screamed, probably waking up the residences near him. Desperately running to the bridge, he never looked back.

_Only Hope_

Clare nodded her head towards Julia while she walked back in the dark room. "Thanks," she muttered, sitting back down as Julia tied her up again.

"Whatever I can do," she almost pleaded. Julia had started feeling guilty for all that Clare had gone through; she knew that she had to move on from all her past problems. _This _was her issue for now.

"When is this going to end?" Clare asked rhetorically, feeling the ropes tighten. Julia brought her another piece of paper.

Julia shrugged. "When the fire is extinguished." She replied. Clare rolled her eyes.

"I thought I saw someone," she almost whispered. "Someone across the river. I thought that it was Eli for a second, but then I knew it wasn't. I guess I'm just hallucinating now." Julia's expression became troubled as she looked down at Clare.

"Are you _sure_ it wasn't Eli?" She carefully asked. Clare shrugged.

"I couldn't see that far away."

"Well shit," Julia muttered under her breath, running a hand through her hair. "If it was, then-"

The door opened hastily to Fitz, smirking as he saw Clare. Julia had suddenly disappeared. Clare looked up to Fitz, her expression blank. She had to keep a poker face so that she wouldn't reveal anything.

"Do you have the letter?" He asked, looking down at her lap. The paper was of course empty, which made his expression troubled. "Why haven't you started?"

Clare refused to make eye contact. "I can't find the words yet," she muttered, seeing if she angered him. Fitz's face remained calm as he brought a hand up to her cheek.

"Don't worry about it," he softly replied, making Clare want to revolt. She should've but she knew the consequences.

She heard her name be called from close by, making her worry. She couldn't let Fitz hear, and she definitely didn't want to do _this_.

Julia, knowing the plan, was already out to retrieve Eli with everything she could do to stall him. Clare looked up at Fitz, trying to replace him with Eli as she leaned forward. Fitz, although slightly startled by her actions, happily obliged. Clare felt the disgust of kissing Fitz sending her into insanity, but it was the only thing that would help Eli keep his life.

_For Eli,_ Clare thought.

_Only Hope_

Eli was close; he could feel it. He ran across the bridge like a bat out of hell; luckily, no one saw him. Not knowing the landscaping too well, he called out Clare's name as he wandered around the darkened houses, looking for some kind of hope. He looked down to see a white piece of paper about ten feet away from him.

_Was this what she dropped?_ Eli thought to himself, jogging to the item. He opened the letter with no time to spare.

As all went silent around him, he heard a gasp from behind him. Abruptly turning, Eli didn't see anyone. It should've scared him, but he returned his gaze to the letter.

_Eli,_

_I am not far—just a little out of your reach. Think logically—dark, brown, and yellow._

_When we meet again (as I am sure of it), I know that we'll have a lot to talk about, and that it'll be hard. But it will be worth it; I assure you of that._

_You're my only hope, and I know that you can save me._

_Clare_

Eli reread the paper several times. He didn't understand what Clare meant—dark, brown, and yellow? What the hell was that supposed to represent? He looked around himself, dumbfounded.

"Only Clare would do this to me," He muttered under his breath, his chuckling strained. A cold wind chilled him, and as he looked in another direction, he walked forward to continue his search.

Stepping forward, he felt the grass being replaced with a heavy metal. He lifted up his foot, curiously looking underneath him. The dark brown doors were rusted like everything else in the area. Only a small bright light illuminated the crack in between the doors. Did he dare open the doors to see what was down there?

"_No,"_ something said to him, causing him to jump back.

He looked around him once again, not seeing anyone. He crouched above the door, placing his ear above the crack.

"You should start writing the letter, Clare." Someone soothingly said. Eli could hear Clare sniffle softly.

"How much longer do I have?" She asked dully. Eli couldn't understand much of their conversation since he had missed so much of it.

There was some shuffling of items underneath, before the boy replied, "We'll just have to see." It was a sickening way in which he said it, but Eli couldn't think of whose voice it was, or why they talked like that to Clare.

He could hear someone walking towards the doors, and Eli bolted away, watching the door from afar.

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**I am SO SORRY I haven't updated this in so long; I've been so busy that I haven't been able to write as much as I have wanted to. Midterms recently ended, and thankfully today I have a snow day :D**

**Seven more reviews (142 total) and we get closer to the end of the first story.**

**In your review, I want you all to pick one word-just one. I'm going to try something different in the next chapter. ;)**


	16. Dare You to Move Part 1

I'm starting to think that maybe I started my plan too late. The proximity between us must be so close… I don't want to know what'll happen if Fitz finds Eli, or if Julia is too late getting to him.

It was stupid of me to do that. I thought that I could give more time for Eli to find me by putting myself out there for Fitz—it was just such a suspenseful moment to hear Eli calling out my name. He was so close to finding me…

But not close enough. I could already hear Julia seeing the fight between the two occur—I surely needed to think up of something that would help them. If Eli got hurt, I wouldn't be able to move on.

Julia shadowed into the room, slapping her forehead. "So far, so good; but I don't know about Fitz. He's just watching the door now… like he's not going to leave. You know your plan was sick, right?"

I nodded my head, looking down at the floor. "It was the only thing that I could think of that would give me more time for Eli to leave."

Julia's grave eyes were almost burning a hole through mine. "He's still here, too. They're on opposite sides of the door, they just don't know it."

My eyes widened drastically. "Are you freaking serious? I thought Eli was going to leave!"

Julia looked deeply pained. "I wanted him to make sure that he knew where you were—just so that if Fitz decided the date, then you would be able to have your knight in shinning armor. He heard your conversation with Fitz—he's not going anywhere."

"Oh, but he has to!" I tried walking away from my imprisoned spot, forgetting that I was tied. "If Fitz finds him, he'll-"

"Kill him." Julia finished. I could feel the water works about to start as my body limply fell down again.

"I'm so tired of this," I whispered. Julia sat down beside me.

"Don't get so down, Clare." She reassured me. "It's going to be better before you know it—you're going to make it out of here alive if I have to try _everything_."

I chuckled. "You're already dead," I softly reminded her. "Only Fitz and I can see you."

"Yes," She agreed. "But I am able to connect with others. I may not be able to talk to Eli, but I can always help him. He just won't know." The silence became awkward until Julia spoke. "Can you just… tell something to Eli once you're out of here? Just for my closure."

I looked up at her almost pleading eyes. "You really love him," I murmured.

Julia laughed, shaking her head. "You have no idea how much," she emphasized. I felt a bullet through my chest, but I couldn't help it. Eli hadn't known me when he was dating Julia—he was someone else's before. "Just tell him that he shouldn't blame himself for me getting killed. He didn't know the half of why I even did it." Her eyes darkened as she looked away from me, looking for a distraction.

"My life wasn't going to well," Her husky voice forced out. "All I had at the moment was Eli—I asked him if I could _live_ with him. He thought I had gone mad," Her voice was starting to weaken, and as much as I wanted to comfort her, I couldn't. "He said that he thought I was taking it a little too far. We hadn't been dating for long—a few months. So then I told him how much he meant to me. How much my life depended on him.

"He tried making me stay, but I wouldn't let him hold me down. He had already made his decision. I took off on my bike, and started my quest—to kill myself. Eli didn't care about me-he was just a distraction for me. That's when I saw a car coming my way," Julia looked at me with pained, water rimmed eyes. "And that's when I knew that I didn't want to die. But I was too late."

I watched her as she cried, but I didn't have anything to say. I knew what it was like to feel so lost… and I couldn't imagine all that she had gone through within her last seconds of living.

She breathed in a few times before she was able to speak. "I want—I want you to tell Eli that I was suicidal. I—I was going to do it even before I got to h—his h—house."

"You were going to make the love of your life just _take_ that?" I argued. "Why? Was it really worth it?"

Julia shook her head. "No!" She cried into her palms. "This is how my life was planned—I can't get away from fate. I just—" she looked up from her hands, gazing at something that I didn't quite see.

"You just what?" I egged her on, but she continued to stare.

"I see it," She whispered. I felt bewildered by what she was saying. "I see it, Clare." Julia breathed out a smile before looking at me.

"What the heck are you talking about?" I asked. Was my only hope actually going insane _right now_?

Julia nodded towards where she had been staring. "I see the light," she justified. All emotions left my face. All the pain. Depression. Hope. Fear. Hatred.

Pessimism. "Go," I murmured, feeling a smile come onto my face. She looked at me to check. "You deserve it."

Julia looked up and then at me again, trying to make a decision. "But I haven't finished what I've started," She said, pulling herself from off the floor. "I'm going to help you out of here, first. It'll just have to be a lot faster than we wanted it to."

My eyes widened. "Seriously, Julia—go to heaven. I'll make it out of here whether or not you are by my side. You've done all you could for me; I can't thank you enough."

Julia paced around the room, a hand held to her head. "Are you sure? I mean, there's so much that you don't know-"

"Julia," I called. She turned to look at me, stopping her rant. "Go," I whispered.

"Clare, I just need you to know before I leave," She smiled brilliantly as she walked towards me, illuminating like the sun. "You are an awesome, fantastic person—I can't help but apologize for all that has happened. Everything with Fitz, and all the problems you've had with Goliah and Eli. Please, just pass on my words to Eli, and please have a good life with him. I thought that when I first saw you, you were looking for mistakes that would happen with Eli being your boyfriend, and it hurt me to see Eli move on with someone that didn't love him back," She finished as I was about to defend myself. "But I now know that you love him. You were always going to be good for him, and I can't tell you how _damn_ much you love each other. Hold onto him—you won't find someone like him. Your kids-"

"Kids?" I asked loudly. What in the world was she talking about? We've never even had sex and-

"Don't worry about it," Julia chuckled, turning over to wherever the passageway was. She turned her head back to my direction. "Just remember—you have been given a gift; the gift of true love. Eli wasn't meant for me, he was meant for _you_. Don't dwell on your past, or his—live the life you're meant to have. You'll have it in no time."

I could feel the truth of all the words that she said, and I smiled up at her. "Thank you," I told her, and with a second, Julia was gone.

And I was here all by myself.

* * *

**I can't express how much I am falling in love with this story. It's beautifully coming to an end, and I'm hoping that it will have an excellent second storyline.**

**Seven more reviews (151 total) and we'll get to either the last chapter, or the second to last chapter.**

**For anyone who likes my stories, there is a new one called _Meant to Live_ (I know, ANOTHER new story xD) which is based on my life as it is Clare's. It only has one chapter up, but it's part of an actual real everyday life of a girl; something I've been hoping that others would write more about here ;)**

**I wonder, what inspired this chapter? Dare You to Move by Switchfoot-I love this band.**

**ANNDDDDD for all the people who have submitted a word, I _did_ add some to this chapter, and the rest are going into "Dare You to Move Part 2". I'm still trying to figure out how "cupcake" (*cough omgitscasey cough*) is going to flow with the next chapter xD**

**mrld97: I'm so sorry I've been making you wait so long for a new chapter! :( haha I'm so bad at updating.**


	17. Dare You to Move Part 2

(Out of Control by Hoobastank plays)

My plan was already set; I had studied it for what seemed like two days. Fitz hadn't come to check on me, which I was thankfully happy for—I needed all the time that I could get.

Julia's memory still played over and over again in my mind. I wondered what it was like to go to heaven—if everything I had heard of was actually legit. Was she watching over us, or did she actually fully leave for her new destination?

I was waiting for Fitz to come. I hoped that everything would go as smoothly as I created it to be. I jumped as I heard the door open, Fitz's heavy footsteps skipping down the stairs. I looked up in his direction with a poker face.

Fitz smiled brightly. "How are we doing?" He asked, looking around the room. I smiled as he wasn't looking.

"Dandy," I remarked. "What's been taking you so long to check up on me?"

Fitz's face flushed before he looked back to me. "I heard someone say your name before; I just didn't have the time to check. I needed to make sure that you were safe from any bad guys."

"Aren't you one of them?" My instinctive side took her as insults came from my mouth uncontrollably. "Weren't you the one who made people look for me? Isn't that why they would be calling out my name in a never ending search for my body?"

Fitz walked over to me in a fast manner. "What did you say?" He asked, partially stunned.

I shrugged. "I'm guess I'm bipolar," I said as innocently as I could. "I'm sorry Fitz, it's just that I—I haven't seen the outdoors in _so_ long; I feel like I'm a caged animal." Fitz's face softened as he walked behind me.

"Is that what you need, in order to feel better?" I nodded hastily as he untied my hands, me smirking in the process. I followed his lead as he let me outside, double checking my features. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked once again.

When I regained my composure, I reassuringly smiled and nodded to him. "Yeah; I just need to feel the breeze for a little longer."

Fitz was leaving for the basement as my eyes quickly scanned my surroundings. I wanted to scream his name, for him to know that I was free for the moment, but that wasn't going to work. I looked behind me, seeing the lock on the basement doors. My heart pounded faster—was that going to help? Was God trying to save me from being murdered?

I hesitantly took my first step towards the door, making sure that Fitz wouldn't hear my movements. Gently taking the lock from the door, I took off the lock as quietly as I could. A sound behind me made me jump, the lock clanking against the metal. Musky brown eyes met blue eyes for a second as I took off the lock in no time, closing the doors as quickly as I could.

"Clare!" He yelled, trying to reach from under the door.

"I hate you!" I screamed back at him, pressing the door down as hard as I could. The lock was merely centimeters away from locking the door in place, leaving Fitz downstairs. "Eli!" I called out several times, figuring out that Fitz was too strong. I wouldn't be able to get the lock on without having someone else's help.

The door flung open, and as I was knocked backwards I could feel two hands around my neck. "No!" I yelled under my breath, coming out as a struggling groan. He was too strong; he would surely kill me in seconds.

I struggled to get him off of me, to loosen his grip for another second but his plan was finally working. I was losing oxygen, and I could feel it. My useless defense attacks were becoming weaker to the point where I was lying limply beneath him. I looked up to see the dark brown eyes, haunting me while my eyes closed without permission.

_Time can only tell a story,_

_As fights will never end in glory._

_Never think overconfidently,_

_Or else you be merely nothing more_

_Than a dream you once had that September bore._

I was waiting to feel the pain; the one that everyone would feel once they were murdered. But I didn't feel anything—my body was numbed, and I laid in the sky, floating on nothing.

"What the hell," I murmured under my breath, seeing that I couldn't fully reach the ground. I froze once I saw where I was; watching Fitz finish off what he started. All these memories started to flash by; some that I didn't even know existed. My grandmother dying, Julia being found, and Fitz finishing me off. All the twists and turns of this corrupted life were being played before my eyes, and I couldn't turn it off.

"Stop!" I screamed as loud as I could, not able to hear myself. I was still being strangled from who knows where—Fitz was a sick man. My body fell onto the dry ground as I watched my last minutes on Earth from in between it and heaven.

I could hear someone coming from across the road, who I knew was my too-late savior. I wasn't able to turn my head away from Eli as he sprinted to where Fitz and my limp body were, punching Fitz like there was no tomorrow.

"Eli," I muttered, trying to pull his arm from Fitz's neck. "Eli!" I yelled louder, knowing that he wouldn't hear me. I just had to try—I needed him to know that I was still here, that he needed to get me help.

Eli stopped for a moment, turning his head in my direction. I knew that he couldn't see me, but I could see him. His tear-struck face was a heartbreaker, and as I saw his grip loosen, I also saw his life do the same.

"Stop," I whispered, knowing that he had heard me. He dropped onto his knees, tears falling freely from his eyes now.

"Why the hell does this happen to me?" He cried in his hands. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Eli," I tried again to get his attention. "Get me help."

I needed him to help me. No matter how broken he was, he had a chance to save me from my death. To have his true love waken from the dead.

His body shook from underneath my contact with his shoulder, and as his head turned to my direction I heard a gasp from him. Could he see me? "Get me help," I demanded, trying my hardest to stay strong. I wouldn't let go of this battle, even if it would put me in the hospital for months.

Eli couldn't stop staring. "Clare?" He asked in a broken tone. I nodded.

"It's me, Eli. But if you want me to survive, you have to get my body to the hospital—_now_!"

Eli, although still shocked, took my orders. He lifted up my body with one cry before jogging to his car. "I'm going to save you, Clare." He murmured as he put his keys into the ignition. I smiled as I stayed half in reality, feeling an overwhelming urge to sleep as we got to the hospital.

Eli carried my body to the front doors until two nurses hastily brought him to a room. "Set her here," one of the nurses commanded in a quick whisper. Eli did as he was told, leaving the room so that they could help me.

_Only Hope_

(On Top by The Killers plays)

The bright light from the windows made me squint my eyes. I groaned instinctively as I brought my hand to my eyes, rubbing them as I felt a tug at my right hand. Looking at it, I noticed the IV that was attached to the back of my hand. How… _nauseating_ it was to see that thing there.

My mind brought back all of the memories from yesterday in a second. Although it was overwhelming, it was bearable. My neck felt mangled as my left hand went to touch it.

A hand carefully took control of my left hand as it approached my neck. "Don't touch it," Eli murmured next to me, sitting in one of the hospital chairs. "If you do, it might get infected."

I smiled in his direction as I saw the emerald eyes that I had missed so much. "Thank you," was all that I was able to say before I felt my throat tighten. I could only wish that I would heal instantly as I cleared my throat to try and speak again. "Where—where is-"

"He's in jail," he soothingly replied, and I felt relief wash over. "He won't be getting out for a long time; they were even thinking about sentencing him to death."

I nodded. "That should be what they choose, if he ever got out of jail I would—" I couldn't bear to think of the thought as I felt my throat tighten once again. Eli rubbed my hand.

"He's not going to," Eli protectively said. "I'll make sure of it."

I looked back at him, seeing that his eyes were harsh and unknowingly dark. "Don't have a heart attack worrying about it," I attempted laughing, but it came out sounding like a cackle. Eli chuckled beside me.

"Don't worry," he said, leaning closer to me. "I won't."

* * *

**This is the beautiful ending that I've been waiting for this story to get.**

**I AM going to start the sequel of this story either tonight or tomorrow; I have a few questions, first:**

**What do YOU want to see from the next story or the Eli/Clare/Goliah trio?**

**If you want to help make a chapter (or help with the whole story) please PM me and if I use any of your ideas I will surely give you the credit that you deserve.**

**I'm also really sorry that I didn't finish adding all of the words that I said I was going to add; it's just the lazy side of me ;)**

**When the sequel comes up, I will add an AN to this story so that the followers can go to the next story.**

**REMEMBER: This story has a meaning to it (like most of mine secretly do). It means that life is short and unexpected, and as many times as you have heard that, it's true. Live your life every day because there will only be ONE February 7, 2010 and you can make the most out of it if you try. Tell all of your family members (and friends!) how much they mean to you, because you may never see them again. Life isn't a choice; it's a gift.**


	18. AN About Sequel

**Just the A/N I was talking about:**

**The sequel to **_**Only Hope**_** is up as of February 8, 2011 and is called **_**On Top**_**. It should be updated regularly and I hope that you guys like it even more than you guys liked this one!**

**See you somewhere in the future,**

**:)**


	19. AN New Story

Hello lovelies :)

I'm announcing my new story which is published called _'Losing Sleep'_! It's a darker fic about Clare running away that is OOC in some parts but includes Imogen and Jake as well.

A preview for all of the first chapter (now online):

My head shoots forward and I hear Jake chuckle. "Trust me babe," He adds, tucking a curl behind my ear. "I know they're not coming. We both know that." My breathing hitches as I understand what he's saying. "I've been making sure that you're safe—being a good boyfriend, I like to think of it as. I try my best to make sure that your parents will be there when I'm gone, but I end up staying in my car the whole night. And I'm tired of it."

"That's why you're always here early." I whisper, feeling his hot breath roll down my neck.

I know I'm in some deep shit by now. I've never had a… stalker. At least I don't think I've had one.

I have to keep my cool until I can get a plan formed in my mind, but I can't seem to think clearly already.

Picking me up, he kisses me on the lips angrily as if he can't get enough. My back becomes pinned against the wall as I attempt to push him off of me.

"Stop Jake." I say, loud enough for him to hear. I get no reply. "Stop!" I yell, my actions becoming frantic. Jake pulls a hand over my mouth and my eyes grow.

"Stop yelling," he whispers in my ear. "You'll love it."

If you enjoy it, feel free to check out the whole chapter :)


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